I occasionally get asked to take part in some strange things.
for example, during a 6-month period in 2009, I was a consultant for a Swiss Bank. honest-engine. didn’t talk about it because of obvious reasons. I was also asked to produce an adult film back-in-the-day [behind the lens, thankfully - as porn 'shorts' have yet to take off], which I did, but then was asked to destroy the tape a few weeks later. this is also 100% true. and recently, I was asked to write a few hundred words for an upcoming exhibition in Las Vegas on ‘marketing for the social media generation’. me. writing something about ‘marketing’. the guy who bought his degree from a site called ‘phony diploma’.
I thought long-and-hard for 2 minutes – a reoccurring time with me [see above] and came up with nothing at all. sorry about that, guys. if there’s a q-and-a for clever adult film titles ['late for rent'], then I’m your man. but ‘marketing’? no.
I went upstairs and showered.
and then it hit me.
now – having already written of a slightly illegal/sinful employment past, the admittance to thinking about an old high school chum while lathered in a body wash called ‘strawberry milkshake’ should tell you I have no business writing any sort of guidelines for any sort of people who pay to get into a conference, but stay with me here.
Jon Garrou knew, at the age of 16, how to market something properly. he was kind of a visionary anyway, being the first to introduce us to The Lemonheads [again - best album to come out of the 90's] and phrases that borderlined the absurd, but somehow worked [they escape me now - but trust they were ground-breaking].
one day, after a basketball game, he forever planted himself in my daily life.
think about that – I knew the guy for 4 years, haven’t seen him since. and yet, I think about him every time I shower.
see, we had a friend named Gregg, he had big feet. they were often [debatable] dirty. someone commented to Gregg he should ‘wash his dirty feet’ and Jon pointed out that, in fact, said suggestion was asinine, as ‘feet pretty much washed themselves’.
I didn’t think much about that until I got into the shower that evening.
‘feet wash themselves’.
soap ends up on the shower floor. feet move around. feet do wash themselves.
and now you see why he comes to mind every time I’m naked and wet.
see, Jon Garrou knew something about marketing – find an everyday happening, and quickly come up with truncated catchy statement – one that will forever resonate.
this post will make slight sense to you, I know. until the next time you get into the shower. you’ll wash everything, make your way to the feets and will, undoubtedly, think of a man you’ve most likely never met.
and with that, Jon Garrou joins another in the shower.
disclaimer – I realize the dangerous edge of blasphemy I walk, putting a photo up of Christ in a post that includes porn, illegal banking acts and naked men, but after searching ‘dirty feet’, I came upon a fetish I had no idea existed. and decided to put the Almighty up instead of some hooker with no shoes. I hope you understand.