Archive for April, 2010

the friday cinco 11 – [anonymous] [artist]

it’s a conundrum.

well… it was.

see, I have a friend and, over the past few weeks, we’ve been exchanging emails about her work. I had planned on taking the nonchalant questions and making them into a little interview of sorts and then putting it up here and emailing her with a ‘surprise!’ but yesterday, she mentioned valuing her anonymity – which, in turn, meant that ‘surprise!’ idea might be a ‘bad!’ idea.

but then I thought about it and realized that she lives in [deleted], many miles from me. and I don’t see her that much… meaning I went ahead and, well, did it anyway.

good intentions!!

it’s work that the second I saw it, I was moved. and I’m not going to act like I know a lot about art – but I know what’s good. we all do. it’s like music. or food. we might not be able to make it, but we can tell if it’s palatable. [deleted]‘s touch-to-canvas is moving. it’s soulful. it’s sad. and it’s ridiculously good, as you will see below – interspersed with things she thought, and things she said.

[deleted], please don’t be mad. and if so, please forgive me. I didn’t have permission for any of this, but did it hoping you’d realize that there’s a whole lot of people who want to see – and that gifted artists whose work is kept dusty only become big post-mortem, and we certainly don’t want that.

the world is full of loud, of the next Damien Hirsts – as Ginsberg so fantastically put it - ‘…waving genitals and manuscripts’…

let them be anonymous, anonymous. let them be quiet.

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I sucked at school, couldn’t remember anything, had double vision and numb hands and as a visual arts major that’s bad. I found out I had multiple sclerosis and eventually got great drugs for it, but by that time the thought of going back to school was nightmarish.  And I still have a horrible memory.

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I am mainly self taught, have no reputable background or story..  and I like anonymity!

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Artists I admire are Daniel Sprick, Hans Holbein, Graydon Parrish (he is overwhelming real though) and I adhere to most of Daniell Kunitz’s concepts concerning the state of art and what it should be.

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I make art because its one of the only things in life I am fairly good at, which can be consoling after being a flop at most everything else.

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I am tired of showboating, shocking, envelope pushing, nontalents scribbling their way to fame… I have Stella Vine in mind when I say that.

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tuesdays with tara – volume six

There are basically two distinct types of music fan when you get down to it: the genuine fan and the hipster poseur.  The genuine fan has no problem admitting their love of Bruce Springsteen.  The hipster poseur will only do so when Bonny Prince Billy has covered one of his songs.  The genuine fan will listen to just about anything that happens to move him/her at any given stage of their life.  The hipster poseur subsists on a steady diet of Pitchfork reviews and anything labeled as “lo-fi”.

I once went on a single date with a hipster poseur.  He was the drummer of a local band that I was more than mildly obsessed with at the time.  He was several years younger than me, extremely jaded and superior.  Throughout dinner, he baraged me with interview questions: “Favorite Beatles album? (his was The White Album, of course), “Which member of Radiohead would I sleep with?”, “Most influential prog-rock band?”.  Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly enjoying myself.  The best part of the date was watching him nearly shit his pants as I did donuts in an empty extremely icy parking lot.  I never went out with him again, a mutual decision,  his band promptly disappeared, and life went on as though it had never happened at all.

There are bands that can be used to conduct social experiments to determine which sort of music fan a person may be and I think the New Pornographers are such a band.  They are a hard working band of much talent.  They’ve been mainlining power pop since 1997.  They make sunshiney music that makes you want to hug people.  Maybe that’s not your thing.  That’s okay.  But don’t hate on them, please; especially if you yourself have no musical talent of your own.  It’s just inane.  Let’s take a quick look at what we have in the New Pornographers:

Carl Newman, the founder, who has produced brilliant solo work under the moniker, A.C.Newman.  Neko Case, who needs no introduction by now.  Dan Bejar, who has also released solo work under the name, “Destroyer” as well as playing with bands Swan Lake and Hello, Blue Roses.  He plays the electric and acoustic guitar, piano, organ, vibraphone and percussion, so I’d say he deserves some respect for that, wouldn’t you?

New Pornographers have enjoyed their fair share of accolades from the industry.  Last year, Rolling Stone honored their second studio album, Electric Version, on their list of “100 Best Albums of the Decade”.  Their first three albums were all featured on the Village Voice Top 40.  But they are ravaged by the hipster poseur demographic and I simply cannot abide it.  This camp argues that a group containing the power trio of Newman, Case and Bejar ought to be producing music that can be heard from space; so awesome in its power that it produces seizures of epically hip proportions.  Well, I’m sorry, but I just can’t get on that bus.  Canadian power pop may not be your cup of tea and that’s alright.  But to hate on a group that consistently churns out pretty little gems and shares its talent equally in lieu of ego wrestling matches?  You might want to consider putting your energy towards a more useful end.  While you’re at it, you can explain to me why Trans Am ever got a record contract.

New Pornographers – Your Hands [Together]

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like Tara? you should. here’s more.

things I learned from ‘shuffle’ – part two

Hot Chocolate’s ‘Cheri Babe’ is almost as good as ‘You Sexy Thing’. I like Hot Chocolate [him - not it]

is this on a commercial? it should be. ridiculously catchy. so catchy, it makes me think I might be late to the party.

I don’t like Neil Young. never have. if you’re an old Canadian singer-songwriter, I’ll need you to be Jewish, thanks.

Hum’s ‘Stars’. still one of the best things to come out of the 90′s.

no, actually, this album was.

I challenge you to find a smarter [post-De La Soul] hip-hop album than Blackalicious’ ‘The Craft’ [that would be Mr. Clinton adding vocals there]

Vangelis is brilliant. yet, I’d never put on an album of his to listen straight through to. suggestions?

no more apologizing for liking Pete Yorn a whole lot. I like Pete Yorn a whole lot.

someday I’ll be secure enough to admit I like the new 30 Seconds To Mars album… someday. [that video is so bad it's amazingly good]

Nina Simone is wonderful, no one can argue that. and she did a lot for bringing racism to the forefront, no one can argue that either. but when she does tackle the issue, she spooks the hell out of me.

Tara turned me onto Andy Clockwise. and for that, I will thank her.

I’m on the fence about Bodies of Water – but keep re-visiting it. hrm.

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things I learned from ‘shuffle’ – part one

protection.

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it’s always been like this,

the obsession with ‘a lot’.

some have said ‘pushing the boundries’,

but that’s not it – that’s what James Dean did.

and I ain’t no James Dean.

ask anyone who knew me – anyone who knows me.

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in my teens, I jumped a lot.

twenties – I said a lot.

and now into my 3rd decade, I’m going a lot.

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but there’s none of this ‘striving for greatness’

I find people who do that to be all-consumed

edges often blurred to the point of unrecognition.

edges, being my favorite parts.

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it’s just simply going. and then coming back.

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I found this out yesterday, while on my little boat.

it, safely tucked into a protected harbor,

me, more protected than most

‘cause I need it.

‘a month around the harbor’ I told Nick,

‘and then I’ll be confident enough to go out there’.

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but a funny thing happened yesterday,

as yesterday’s always seem to be such catalysts of learning.

there wasn’t much wind for me and my boat.

more my boat than me,

she liked the wind,

I liked the protection.

I wasn’t confident enough to go out there

confidence, or, lack thereof, being why I jumped a lot

why I said a lot

and perhaps, sadly,

why I go a lot.

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but there was no wind.

Nick had taught me to see where the wind was

and,

proudly using said learnings,

I looked out to where calm became stirred

a few hundred yards ahead.

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up until then, it was me and Peter Tosh,

my little boat providing a dance floor for my occasional head-bob.

but there was wind.

I found that out a few minutes later

it was coming from the entrance to the harbor

a harbor doing a good job of keeping most of the crazy out

letting some in from time-to-time

which is important for people new to things.

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so I went.

I went for the entrance,

not curiosity bettering me, as I knew what it felt like

nor was it an adrenaline need,

I ain’t one of those guys neither.

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I made it through the entrance.

I made it out there.

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and then a funny thing happened.

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‘you didn’t die?’

‘you were okay?’

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well, yes. sure.

but that’s not it.

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I realized that being there,

while not the best of ideas,

was my choice.

my decision.

I was there because I decided I wanted to be.

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I made it out,

Peter, boat and I.

I made it back

and was given a treat.

see, if you’re my Facebook friend [ha]

you’d know I posted my favorite song of his yesterday.

well, as I was heading out there,

through the entrance,

I put it on.

gave me a grin.

and some comfort

my favorite song of his.

as whatever god you believe in,

wouldn’t let anyone die to Peter Tosh.

besides Peter Tosh.

[r.i.p.]

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but then, a treat

a maritime smackrel!

the instrumental came on as I was going back in

of the same track.

look at the album,

you’ll see what I mean.

you’ll also see I was only out for 10 tracks

which ain’t much

but it was to me.

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a little something of my choosing going out

a little something of someone else’s coming back.

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was this about making my own decisions?

or some producer including a bonus track?

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I don’t know…

I just really happened to enjoy it all.

the cull

dear the 212 220 224 of you.

I’m not going to kid myself and think that you found out immediately that I ended our Facebook relationship.

in fact, you might have hidden me and my ridiculous attempts to entertain long ago.

this, however, is for the few who might have popped by,

to see I wasn’t there anymore.

597 is a lot of people.

most of them I know.

some of them I don’t.

but that’s a lot of people.

I confirmed the ‘are you sure?’ prompt for many a reason,

a few that I’ll get into in a second.

but for the most part, it was either people I didn’t like,

yet felt, for one reason or another, I had to keep them,

or people who I did like, but who never had anything to say,

or, even return an email.

there were lots of lurkers, and if you’re one of them, than shame on you.

[except my friend Shamus]

I have enough stalkers.

well, 3 that I know of.

but that’s 2 too many.

[I still consider 1 to be quite fashionable]

and yes, I spend countless hours sadly putting thought into what I post,

because I like to make my friends laugh.

but a large portion of the people I removed yesterday weren’t really my pals.

and I didn’t want ‘em around.

someone commented that I’m ‘too cool’ and that made me feel weird.

I’m 33, still borrow money from my parents and live in other people’s houses…

I’m anything but ‘cool’.

to the select few others that fall under a different category, please see below:

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to people I went to school with, but still removed: going to school together ain’t a free pass.

to people I did one project with: I couldn’t click ‘deny’ when we were working together, could I?

to friends of an ex-girlfriend: since she and I aren’t FB friends, I thought in principle we shouldn’t be either. nothing personal.

to people who at one point listened to a show of mine: I honestly appreciate the support, but doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know you.

to friends-of-good-friends: this was hard, but I don’t know you, I know your friend. sorry.

to girls I added because they were wearing a bikini in their profile picture: I only added you because you were wearing a bikini in your profile picture.

to a select few family members: one of y’all told my Mother I use the ‘f word’ a lot.

to a lot of people from Shanghai: you ain’t getting out and I ain’t coming back.

to a lot of people in Berlin: doing a lot of cocaine together doesn’t make us close.

to someone I met, got on with and has no idea why I ended things: your significant other probably annoyed the fuck out of me.

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I think that covers it – trust me when I say nothing bad happened, nor am I trying to ‘hide’ anything from any of you.

let’s just call it old age.

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[side note: during yesterday's purging, the company that host this site went down for a few hours. apologies to those who sent me a 'you're even blocking me from your blog?' email. I wouldn't - and that was kind of funny.]

oh, rowlocks!

I don’t drive, so I ride a bike across the landbridge.

I keep the outboard on my boat, so I need to row out to it.

which means I ride while holding 7-foot oars.

a handicapped jouster, if you will.

rode all the way to the harbour,

where scuffboat was staying,

only to realize I had forgotten the tiny braces -

the ones the oars sit on,

meaning I couldn’t go out.

the sun was there,

as was the wind

and me

with my sailing hair

just not the tiny metal things.

the little things.

the little important things that in the midst of it all,

I’d forgotten.

it wasn’t a big deal,

but another lesson.

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I’m learning quite a bit of those these days.

number seven

Increasingly of late, and particularly when I drink, I find my thoughts drawn into the past rather than impelled into the future. I recall drinking sherry in California and dreaming of my earlier student days in England, where I ate dalmoth and dreamed of Delhi. What is the purpose, I wonder, of all this restlessness? I sometimes seem to myself to wander around the world merely accumulating material for future nostalgias.

Vikram Seth


devon clifford 1979-2010

look, I ain’t gonna act like I knew the guy well.

but we did share a good 5 hours,

and a skinful of booze that we didn’t pay for.

he knew how to tell a good story,

and had quietly spent his quiet time helping others.

add to this all

one helluva drummer.

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30 years old.

and died on stage.

it’s not supposed to all end like this…

is it?

the friday cinco 10 – peter besson [movie maker]

there are movies you immediately take to. and there are movies that resonate long after you’ve seen them. Peter Besson has the unique ability to make films that do both. but what I like most about Peter is that if you met him in a bar, like I did, you’d have no idea he made films. gone is the ego and self-entitlement that seems synonymous with those that find themselves successful in ‘the biz’. he’s simply a nice guy who is very good at what he does.

if it sounds like I’m kissing his ass, then maybe I am – as when you see someone headed straight-up, you tend to hang on for as long as you can.

and that’s just Peter – never mind the near 50 awards his latest short ‘True Beauty This Night’ has raked in.

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before we talk about ‘True Beauty This Night’, let’s talk about an earlier film of yours – ‘Accident’. I mean, if you compare the two… in fact, let’s compare the two. I remember you getting some flack over the first one about it being too dark or something?

I’ve got plenty of flack over ‘Accident’.  I remember standing on stage at the San Antonio Film Festival, just happy to be there and answer any question when I got barked at by an audience member, asking why the hell I made that short.  I tried to explain to the man that the film actually carries a message and shouldn’t be read on the surface level but more as a metaphor, but angry man wouldn’t hear of it.  He persisted in confusing the message with the messenger and if he could have, he’d have stormed the stage and punched me.  ‘Accident’ deals with the death of a child, always a topic causing great emotions, but in a way that could be misread as to the intention of the what and how.  Some people’s shutters just go down when this topic is broached and they’re unwilling to go beyond the surface meaning.  Understandable, but also a copout and  a bit lazy.  The clues to the film’s meaning are there if one’s only willing to get past the gut reaction.  And I meant this to be a gut reaction for a reason.  ‘Accident’ is a very polarizing film.  People love it or hate it.  And I mean hate it.  There’s no in-between.

you made ‘Accident’ before you had a child of your own. do you think it would have come out differently had you been a father then?

I don’t  think I’d have made ‘Accident’ any different as a father.  I still stand one hundred percent behind the message of the short (maybe even more so now; if that’s possible – don’t think there’s more than a hundred percent…), and the film is simply a vehicle to deliver that. I think you have to look past your own limited preferences or tastes if you want to get to something deeper.   I do not nor did I ever condone the actions of the characters in the short, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make a film like that.  If I’d make a film about people I agree with, it would be a rather boring affair of them sitting around, talking sweetly and hugging occasionally.  Not exactly great drama…

last time I saw you for the private screening of ‘True Beauty This Night’ [does saying things like that make it sound very L.A.?], you mentioned another thing you did differently with this latest one is hire a DP – anything else that stands out strongly in the evolution from making ‘Accident’ to now TBTN?

When I made ‘Accident’ I was still under the film school spell and the notion of the ‘auteur’.   I just knew that I could shoot this better than anybody.  I mean I have a minor in photography, right?  And the stuff my student colleagues shot looked like crap (no offense – well, ‘looking like crap’ is an offense, so never mind).  And I wanted this to be a visual showcase of my skill.   I didn’t think I was naïve, but in hindsight, I was. Camera and Directing are two complete different skill sets, and I found myself scanning the viewfinder, seeing if the composition looks good, while watching the actors perform, and ended up doing neither particularly well.  Both suffered, and I realized that I had to find somebody who had a great visual sensibility, somebody who I could trust to put the camera in the right place and do what he does best: make a beautiful image.  So I could concentrate on the performances of the actors.  I believe, or I hope, the results speak for themselves.  ‘Accident’ also suffered from the ‘I have to make a statement’ syndrome.  I think I grew up since then (my wife disagrees), and there’s less need to shock, or hit people over the head.  And with this maturity (my wife’s sniggering in the background) comes the realization that it takes more courage to be honest and sensitive than it does to hit people in the face.  I think ‘True Beauty’ has a tenderness and a willingness to be vulnerable, and that is much more nerve-racking to do then some cool, clever hip short that puts some distance between audience and film, but leaves the filmmaker safe:  You can always claim you’re being ironic, or you didn’t mean it.  But with heartfelt emotions, it’s exactly what it is.  Can’t hide from that.

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you also mentioned something about having a rough time shooting in some place. security? am I remembering this right?

Don’t shoot downtown LA at night when you only have one security guard.  That’s the lesson I learned on TBTN.  We thought we did everything right, had the security guy watch our base camp, and we set out to get some night exteriors around the corner.  We lit up the world and started shooting Rhett walking down the street, chipper, whistling.  That went well for about half an hour, until it got really dark and the crazies started coming out.  It got rougher and rougher, with actual threats shouted at us (‘You should all be shot!’), so our intrepid producers decided to hire an impromptu security guy: a big, no-nonsense mountain of a man.  He was watching a liquor store on the corner, and for a fee, he watched our backs while we shot.  Things quieted down immediately.  Big guy didn’t take shit from nobody, and made that clear to anybody who cared to listen.  Little side note: after we spent all this time lighting the set, and shooting take after take, the DP and I were still not too happy with the result.  Until he turned to his left, saw an alley that was just perfect, sent the actor walking and shot it.  Perfect shot, beautiful to look at, and not planned one bit.

how in the world does a director go about hiring a police car?

I got lucky with my producers on the police car.  For a paid job, they work occasionally on transportation on big studio films, and they pulled a lot of strings to get everything we needed.  I mean a lot of strings.  So much so that we were accused by the guy who owns the theater we shot at of lowballing him on the fee.  He saw all the equipment these guys were able to pull together and he thought we stiffed him.  It didn’t look it, but it really was a low-budget affair.  I mean low-budget LA style, which still costs an assload…

okay, now – every time I check in with you, or re-watch the film, it seems to have gotten another award. how many do you have now and which ones really stand out to you?

The film has been doing fantastic on the festival circuit. So far it garnered 48 awards, give or take one, and played in about 180 festivals.  (best way to keep track of it is [here] – I try to keep that updated).  I’m thrilled about any award I get.  It really doesn’t get old, nor should it.  There’s a wonderful thrill in getting the message that the short won this or that.  It’s a great pat on the back for everybody who worked on it.  So many shorts are made and just disappear down a black hole, and the cast and crew wonder why the hell they worked so hard on that thing.  But the awards I’ll remember the most are: my first.  Who doesn’t remember their first?  It was the incongruously named Stinkwater Short Film Festival in Sydney, Australia.  I won first place, and was told so by Barry Watterson in a thick Australian accent: ‘You won, mate’.  That was great news, even more so because it came with prize money (I had no idea), and the film showed in front of an audience of over 800, including the Cultural Minister and former lead singer of ‘Midnight Oil’ Peter Garrett.  And that opened the gates for the film.  Other notable awards were… the Jury prize at Stony Brook Film Festival.  They flew me out to the festival, gave me the award and a bag full with stuff: an iPod, a DVD player, a GPS and other thingamadooders.  Looked like I robbed a Best Buy when I got home…  The Jury Prize in San Diego, because it was a big festival, and the only awards show I could have gone to and didn’t because I couldn’t fathom I’d win anything… the Audience Award at Filmstock 11 in England, because they made their own trophy; it was sort of a picture book thing, held together by a large screw, and you could flip through and see what audience members had to say about your film; really fucking cool… Best Short in Omaha because they sent an insane amount of film-related software with it I could actually use…  Best of Fest in Derby City because it was the first (and only so far) best-of-the-whole-damn-thing award and the Kinokneipen Prize in Regensburg, Germany, because it’s the only one that refers to a pub in name (Kneipe- pub).  But like I said, I’m thrilled if the film wins anything.

aside from the numerous awards, what’s the best compliment you’ve received for TBTN?

One of the best compliments (aside from awards) I get for TBTN is when people walk up to me and tell me they’re sad it ended.  They wanted to see more, they would have followed the characters for a lot longer; that’s something I didn’t expect.  Another thing is when people take the time to write either a review or just write me directly.  It’s awesome to get ‘fanmail’.  Not that I get that much, but every once in a while an email flutters into my inbox and it’s from somebody who saw the film somewhere and just had to tell me personally how much they liked it.  I mean it takes time to sit down and write, but it also takes a lot for somebody to feel compelled to make contact.  It’s not just a ‘oh, that was cool’ and they move on.  They have to communicate how much they liked the film.  And that’s awesome.  And this doesn’t hurt.

so, knowing now that this is a stellar film, by numerous critics marks, do you still find yourself sitting in the back nervously?

Watching your own film on screen is nerve-racking.  Doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen it screened in front of an audience, I still have to go out and down two beers and a chaser before a screening to calm my ass down.  I don’t know what it is, but you sit there, nervously, listening for the slightest noise from the audience (are they shifting in their seats? Bored?), scanning their upturned faces for any sort of reaction, hoping they laugh at the right moments.  It’s pretty incredible, you can feel the mood in the room; it’s palpable.  And only bearable with a low level of alcohol in the bloodstream.

how can people watch it?

Right now, the film’s only playing in festivals.  One of these days, when the run’s over, I’ll put it up on the website, but the best way to see where it’s going to play is [here].

any advice for up-and-comers?

Advice for up-and-comers?  Go make a film.  Best way to learn anything.  And don’t take yourself so fucking serious.  I know we all do, especially straight out of film school: every film is so important, deals with such heavy issues, there’s always a gun, or a gangster, or at the very least a death.  Somebody always dies.  And then the actors cry.  And it’s all so heavy and dreary and way too long.  That’s the other thing: if you’re making a short, make sure it’s short.  Sounds simple, but the hardest thing for any filmmaker is to cut his own stuff.  Directors fall in love with their own footage, they know how hard it was to get this one shot, and they’ll try to cram it in there, even if it doesn’t fit.  Don’t do it.  Get a good editor who doesn’t care about any of the stuff that happens during production but who finds something new in the footage presented to him.  A good editor might surprise you and give you a better film than you dreamed of.  But for God’s sake edit!  Nobody wants to see long takes of nothing, one after another, for thirty minutes, then somebody dies and the actor cries.  Nobody wants to see indulgent crap.

I remember before JW, our mutual friend, introduced us, he called you ‘one of the most genuine guys in L.A.’, how, after getting such a great response from TBTN, do you not find yourself up your own ass? does it have to do with, like you said, ‘not taking oneself so seriously?’

Was JW sober when he said that?  Really?  Well, now my head’s up my ass.  And it’s staying there.  But seriously, it’s exactly that: not taking everything so serious.  It’s hard, we all get wrapped up in the drama of our lives and think it’s the most important thing.  But it’s not.  Go ahead and have a kid.  And then your peddly little shit doesn’t mean anything.  It’s a real quick reality check.  The only thing that matters is that kid smiling at you in the morning.  And man, that’s something.  No pretense, no bullshit, just a smile because the kid knows: it’s great just to be here…

and what’s next?

I’m endlessly re-writing a screenplay that just ended up on the top ten list for ‘Writers on the Storm’, a screenwriting contest by Coverage Inc., They’re going to show the thing around town in the next few weeks – pretty excited about that.  My manager (yup, got one after the first screening of TBTN) asked me to write a feature treatment for ‘True Beauty’ which I did, and which she’s handing out to a select few people right now.  I never intended for TBTN to be anything more than just a short, but so many people have told me they could have followed the characters for a lot longer, and they’d love to see what happens next, so I figured why not?  And eventually, I’m going to write a novel.  Yes, like everybody else.  But I’m really going to do it…

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5 creepy actors we always forget about

I’m a sucker for the bizarre – Eastern Europe, Captain Beefheart, goats…

bring ‘em on.

same goes for films – Lynch, Tarsem, Disney.

can’t get enough.

and when it comes to actors, the creepier the better – Gary Oldman*, Willem Dafoe, Walken, etc.

but how often they overshadow the truly disturbing thespians.

here’s a few that come to mind:

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#5 – David Morse

I’m sure he’s a nice boy, but I DON’T TRUST HIM! plus, he’s allergic to most forms of sugar.

#4 – Tony Todd

evil. pure evil. I’d say that even without him being Candyman.**

#3 – Michael Wincott

I don’t know if it’s the jaw, the voice or the fact that he slept with his sister in The Crow*** – but, yes. creepy.

#2 – Crispin Glover

while I’m sure most are are normal in real life, something tells me Crispin is just plain strange. Letterman agrees.

#1 – Vincent D’Onofrio

is he one of my favorite actors of all time? yes. is he also the creepiest actor of all time? yes.

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* greatest actor of our generation

** do not, under any circumstances, read this two more times

*** who was Bai Ling, so probably adopted – but still…