aric with an a

I would like to leave this city
This old town don’t smell too pretty and
I can feel the warning signs running around my mind

[Oasis - 'Half A World Away']

I’m taking off for a while. I do this from time-to-time, start something, like the diaries and then get bored - except that I’m not bored of them, I liked doing them at first. I had people telling me that it was where they were getting their news on China. I liked that, although I never wanted to be a correspondent. But China got to me. It became annoying and I became grumpy. With all I’ve been blessed with I am the last person who should be grumpy but I’m getting there. Why? I think because I’m not happy here, but kept convincing myself that through my projects and cush lifestyle that it was all worth it…but it isn’t. Nothing is worth your joyness (that’s for you JJones). So I’m leaving. I mean, I would have had to leave the country anyway to get another visa, the same visa that they’re denying 1/2 of my friends here and thus, forcing them to leave. I might not have gotten one, as the show got me in a little trouble. Which would mean I’m on ‘the list’. Meaning it would be hard to get back in and I’ve got quite a bit going on mid-Sept on. I’ll come back and do my little projects and leave again which is what I should be doing anyway. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. So I’m off. In 2 weeks. I fly into Bangkok and from there will try and get into Burma and then all down and through the parts of SE Asia I haven’t seen ending up in Indonesia. That’s the plan at least. Thank God I have a copy-writing and producing gig I can do from the road or I’d be f*cked. I’m lucky, see. Blessed. No reason to be grumpy. I’ll be gone for about 3 months, so will try and post when I can.

I fly out tomorrow for a travel piece and will update the Shanghai Diaries later on, but for now, here’s a recap of the 6th week.

Thanks again for the support!

I had 2 interesting experiences tonight, all within 10 minutes of eachother.

After finishing my ’set’, I sat down with my friend Brad and had a few whiskeys - whilst there, his girlfriend showed up and I sat next to them while they did what happy couples do, drank and touched in only the way that people who know eachother, as well as their faults, can do. That’s what I miss, someone who will still lean on my shoulder knowing all the bad sides of me. It’s not the mind-blowing sex, not the baths, not the Sunday’s in with Otis Redding and ingredients to some Southern comfort food, it’s, as I blogged about half-a-year ago, that ‘look of love’, patience, understanding, pure and unbridled acceptance.

Then, my friend Elise came and sat on the other side. We talked about love and how hard this town is on relationships, and through simply bullshitting, we both came to the realization of why it’s so difficult here is that most show up looking for independence, and even though they might enter a relationship, always have the ‘he’s leaving at some point and so am I’ mentality in the back of their mind. So we really don’t want a relationship meaning we look for it in small amounts from large groups of people - which is also dangerous.

Shanghai’s a parody and only those wise enough escape without becoming one them self.

Maybe I listen to too much Motown. Maybe I’m lonely. Maybe, I’m okay with both of those.

Photo by DJ_Buchanan

In the immortal words of Bob Schneider - ‘I’m good now’…kind of.

As any can tell from the mood [and lack of] my posts, I was down/blue and seriously wondering if I was depressed. Funny how one tends to look at all of the outside influences, those to easily blame when it’s actually a simple answer of responsibility. I wanted to look to previous gf’s, or friends that disappointed, or lack of work, which didn’t help.

Each ex-memory was met with a drink.
My own infidelity fixed with a lay.
What I couldn’t swallow was met with another pill.
And chain-smoked the rest away.

…okay, okay, it wasn’t originally supposed to rhyme, but I changed up that last one to make it catchy - good signs, right?

Work is coming, I accidentally met someone nice, Scott made me get up this morning and go to the gym and I actually took time to listen to Otis Redding whilst the sun went down and didn’t send one single SMS for an entire album.

I’m not all better, but at least have an idea of why.

Photo of my roof