aric with an a

I wasn’t moaning, by the way. I’m just tired. got up this morning at 1.30am for a volcano bike ride. and it was great. but I’m still tired.

I’m sorry.

ummm, what’s what:

rough sundays 9 is up and is kind of, well, awesome. I enjoyed it. you might. the next one [hawaiian] is going to be funner.

I’m writing about Hawaii here, ’cause they’re nice and they’re paying me. even quaint little tales about boarding the wrong plane. impressive, yes. thanks.

some photos - up ’till now - of the trip so far. fatigue aside, it’s been amazing.

rihanna is today’s guilty pleasure. which is ironic seeing how she made news for pleasuring the guilty.

I wish I could connect in lax to see miss f - a few drinks with her would do us both good. [laugh + laugh + serious face]

someone walking below my balcony right now has very squeaky shoes.

it’s a few days back in bend, then a week in nyc, then england, then I’m not sure…it’s all up in the air. which is nice, I suppose. it keeps changing.

this is one of the best photos I’ve ever seen from guangxi, china.

if Hawaiian swag is your thing, then I’m your man. 

I’m reading ‘the dead walk fast- stalking nosferatu‘ and it’s not as good as chuck klosterman said it was.

give me a good night’s rest and I’ll be chock-full of exclamation marks.

prefacing is for chumps. you know that. but let me make an exception, as this is an absurd situation.

I am fucking tired. as in, exhausted.

yes I’m in Hawaii, yes there are limousines and concierges and more things with syllables that I’ve never had and it’s gorgeous and a few wonderful people.

we can all agree on that.

yes?

yes. 

okay.

I’m fucking tired.

it’s 8.25pm, I spent another day road-tripping up a windy road that the rental car company can’t wait to find out about on an island that I don’t even know. seriously. I just found out yesterday I was in a place called Kuaii. I probably spelled that wrong. I’m sorry.

‘pay close attention to the spelling of the Hawaiian names, please’ was one of the few things asked of us.

I’m sorry.

I’m also to be up at 1.30am. 

last night at that time, I was desperately trying to find a random phone charger.

tonight, I’m up with a coffee.

yes, it’s to mountain-bike off of a volcano at sunrise.

yes, I can’t wait to do it.

yes, I’m excited.

yes, free trips like this should be reserved for those who deserve it.

yes, I realize that I’m somewhat moaning about my fatigue.

yes, I can sleep on the plane.

…

…

…

I just wanted to say that I’m tired.

and not say what I want to…

which is: ‘this is hard work’.

I promised myself I wouldn’t.

oh, that picture is from my hotel room.

yes… I know.

I just had an idea. well, it’s the culmination of a lot of…well, things. mostly fears.

see, I want to do something, a few things. but the main thing in my way was something that might be accessible through other means.

I’m off to Hawaii in a few days and am going to run it by a few folks who will know more. but it’s just crazy enough to work…just.

me and the boys shot our guns yesterday.

photos are up here.

and then there was this - grizzly and his new kicks.

[thank you, jesus & mary chain]

big day.

new show is up.

listen - you have a long weekend, so really, no excuse.

great!

my family never went on holiday.

wait - that’s not right. one time we drove an hour-and-a-half north to a place called ‘robber’s cave’. it was cut short, however, because my sister decided to take a bite out of my ass.

but that’s another post.

this is about holidays. or lack thereof. we just never had enough money. my father was working 2 jobs, along with coaching my basketball team, just for the 5 of us to get by.

vacations were something for the wealthy.

so, whenever I first heard about Hawaii from a girl who I once traded letters with, I looked it up on the map.

it was a lot farther away from Tulsa than the caves that hurt me.

it was a world away.

so when I get the call that I’m being flown, fed and put up by the Hawaiian Tourism Agency to write/film about their ‘budget’ side, I simply have to shake my head.

am I excited? yes I am - but you couldn’t tell.

I guess because at some point, I realized that I will never work as hard as my parents did, yet for some reason get to head places they’ll never see.

and that just doesn’t seem fair.

this day was a funny day, as the last time I had a backpack on, it was trying to find a way out of Nepal and back to Thailand - all during the airport riots. it was needed at the Canyon - but only once more.

it was a long trip - flying from Kathmandu-KL, and then making my way via buses and trains and boats and free-rides back to Bangkok.

I collapsed in my friend Nym’s home that afternoon and threw down the backpack that I had lived out of for 6 months. it was a little backpack, but felt heavy just the same.

but it was the last time I’d have to wear it.

I was headed back home, a place where my passport wouldn’t be stamped with inquisition (or so I thought), a family I hadn’t seen for too long, friends that I had spent more time talking with via Facebook then I ever did in real life and a girl that both kept me away and brought me back.

but the backpack’s coming out again. okay, not the same pack, but the guy wearing it. I thought he was through, at least for a while, but no.

I miss my family and friends already and I haven’t left yet; but I hope that will never change. I didn’t get the passport to be let in my own country, I got it to get out - now I realize it’s for both. the girl, well, wouldn’t I be an asshole to moan about anything, so I won’t. but know that I want to.

see, there’s a bar in NYC that I need to get to. there’s a golf course in the south of England that needs to be played badly on. there’s a cabin somewhere in Norway that I want to write in…

and somewhere there’s something that I hope will help me make sense of it all.

‘jog’ said a friend today in a letter, ‘don’t run’. 

I had to laugh.

running has worn me out.

show 7 is pretty much the best show done to date.

I think.

listen!

clarence carter wants you to have a good day…and just to prove it, he’s got a story to share:

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it comes and it goes

for anyone who visits this can tell you

I finished the show

about people I like

that some people like

and some people tell me

I’d seen a few things

fucked a few more up

loved a lot, lost a few

and loved still a bit even after that

so overall should sleep well - at least for tonight

but this, my pre-slumber checklist,

means it’s not just me anymore.

the teeth stuff

and then the sinus spray

advil for my whiskeys

and simply sleep for the rest

potion for the facial hair that won’t grow

and a mask to keep away the interruptions

it sure isn’t my last year’s 

and the ones to come will sure have friends

so, sleep knowing you loved and have seen

’cause the only thing that changes now is the dosage.