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tuesdays with tara – volume thirty-one

I can’t sort it out.

It has been flooded; inundated, this brain. It is full up and sloshing sloppily out of badly sealed corners. Today, it is equal parts cold medicine and good old fashioned displacement. Displacement getting me down? This gypsy? Never say never.

If any praise can be lauded upon routine, it is this: a sense of certainty. There is plenty to be said for that kind of stability. So what happens, then, when everything is new and everything is upside down and nothing is what it was and where you are heading is unclear? Let’s not even enter into the discussion the power of insecurity and second guessing. Let’s leave that out of the equation for today. Let’s deal only with an over-active mind that is filling to the brim on a daily basis for lack of much else to do and can I please, pretty please have something else to do?

What I do know is this: that I am expending a ridiculous amount of energy merely trying to keep my happy face above water. I know my joy is one of the best things I have going. My desire to hold on to that, to safeguard that, is occupying a fair amount of my days. I take a little time each day to remind myself of what is good and right about what I have done with my life. I remind myself of time-honored platitudes such as, “This too shall pass.” I pet the cat. I cook something delicious. I look out the window and I think, “Yeah. This is good where I am now.”

I believe it, too. I have a genuine sense of peace that fell into my lap out here. Sometimes when you stop looking for something, it finds you instead. So why, then, does my life not catch up with my spirit so that I can go forth and be productive? So that I can make room in my head for things more worth thinking about?

This song made so much sense to me today. I have no idea what he is saying. But if feels joyful to me. It has momentum. It moves along in a relentless way. It refuses to stay down.

I get that more than you could know.

Shugo Tokumaru – ‘Lahaha’

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for a whole lot more of ‘tuesdays with tara’, visit the archives. or, stalk her. or both.

 

tuesdays with tara – volume thirty

I get eaten by the rust you create and eat the dust.”

Whilst going through the usual morning motions today, I stumbled upon something that gave me pause. It was a link to a thread on reddit. A man, using the moniker lucidending, announced that he now had only fifty one hours to live. He has been suffering and deteriorating from cancer which, he felt, was robbing him of all dignity. He is a resident of the state of Oregon (where I am currently living) and has legally won the right to die today through the Death with Dignity Act. I had no idea that Oregon had a law like this on its books. It makes me even more proud to live here.

I was drawn into the thread by the seeming humility of this man. (“Who I was doesn’t matter. I’m in pain, I’m tired and I’m finally being granted a small shred of respect.”) He made no statements that could be construed as antagonistic. Though there will no doubt be those who will say that it is all a hoax, I feel that can only reveal a deep cynicism within those people. The man opened the thread with the intention of fielding questions that anyone might have about ending one’s life consciously. There was a lot of naked humanity in that thread. When asked how he felt, knowing that his death was imminent, he merely said that he hoped it wouldn’t hurt too much; naturally, he was afraid, and he felt sorry for those he would leave behind. I’ve given the subject enough thought to say that I would feel much the same, though who can know how much an inevitable reality might change those thoughts?

lucidending has had an eventful couple of days, according to the thread. People from all over the world stopped by to say hello/goodbye/aloha. People began posting pictures and videos of where they were so that he might feel he had been there. When he regretted never having seen the Northern Lights, a man from Iceland signed in to say that this was something that he witnessed so often, he took it for granted. And here was someone, on their death bed, who had always yearned to see it. It gave him pause.

And on and on went this chain reaction.

A young college student spoke of losing a loved one to cancer. He posted a quote from Socrates that he said helped get him through. It was one I couldn’t believe I’d never heard:

To fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise, without being wise, for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them, but they fear it as if they knew quite well that it was the greatest of evils. And what is this but that shameful ignorance of thinking that we know what we do not know?”

Many years ago, on an unassuming afternoon, something monumental happened to me. A very good friend of mine was terminally ill. Our friendship had been largely reduced to bedside visits. Though he was virtually staring death in the face each and every day, he always found the energy to be a delightful host. The stories he told and the way he made me laugh! I was so happy to have him in my life. And then one afternoon, he knocked the wind out of me.

Our conversation had taken a morbid turn. I suppose I knew this was an eventuality. He had recently increased his pain medication. His nurse, an implacable woman, grew largely quiet. He told me that the he was having trouble seeing the point of being around much longer. He was slowly decaying and falling apart. Did I have any idea what that felt like? I was a healthy twenty something, so of course, this question was nonsensical.

He asked me if I loved him. It went without saying, but I said it anyway. He asked me if I would help him, should the need arise.

He asked me if I would help him die.

I immediately burst into tears. Why was he asking me this, I had to know. He knew that I was an advocate of the right to die. He knew I was strong. He grossly overestimated me in this second point, evidently.

I left that afternoon with the heaviest heart imaginable. I told him that I would have to give the matter some thought. But what was there to think about? Of course I couldn’t do it. Aside from the fact that it would be considered a crime in the state where we lived, I knew I was physically incapable of such an act. I once had to conduct a mercy killing on a suffering chipmunk. I suffered the memory of that act for days on end, with a heaving bosom.

Today, when I read about lucidending, I couldn’t help remembering this friend of mine, and how he had been made to suffer until the bitter end. I wish he could have had the chance to make amends and say his goodbyes. I wish that he had been given the benefit of maintaining a semblance of dignity. He was robbed of all of those things in the end and it makes me angry to think of it.

By the time you read this, lucidending may be gone. May it occupy your thoughts for some length of time.

Deertick – ‘Christ Jesus’

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‘tuesdays with tara’ – archive.

tara noble herself.

 

the friday cinco 15 – nostalghia [the next big thing]

Nostalghia

I just Google’d ‘Nostalghia+the+next+big+thing’ and got nothing.

and I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.

because very, very soon, someone smart is going to realize they’re doing something amazing – and I’ll be the lucky kid who penned that title first.

trust me, though, I’m not the first person to say it – just write it. everyone who hears them and then hears that they’re not already snapped up by a major label says the same thing… they’re going to be big. very, very big.

a few weeks ago, I was in Los Angeles visiting my good friend and writing mentor J.W., and even before we could open a beer to toast his recent success as a screenwriter, he made me sit down in a big comfortable chair.

‘listen to this’ he said, barely whispering the ‘this’, as if he knew something that I didn’t.

he did.

after seeing my reaction, he called them – Ciscandra and Roy – over for drinks and from the moment they walked in, it was easy to see that they were put on this earth to make something amazing.

I begged them for an interview and they accepted – whether or not they’ll approve of my playing the first 5 tracks off of their debut ‘I Am Robot Hear Me Glitch‘ album is a different story. but I couldn’t pick one and I couldn’t pick a favorite.

I apologize… but give me a few minutes and you’ll understand.

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Nostalghia – ‘Golden Horse’

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Ciscandra, describe you and Roy:

Both of us are hacks. Like, real and in the flesh, hacks. Except that Roy kicks major ass on drums and percussion. I wasn’t really allowed to pursue music the way I wanted to as a kid. Persian families, though close-nit and lovely in their own way, can be really close minded. Asking them to buy you a guitar, is like telling them the hour of your death. My Uncle didn’t make it easy for me. He was a musician, had drug problems and all that jazz, so my mother thought it was the devil. I saved up lunch money, and bought my first guitar. Then everyone just started dumping their sad instruments on me. Both Roy and I like picking up random shit, and playing the hell out of it. The other night we were jamming with the ropes of a hammock. It was cool.

Nostalghia – ‘MechANICal’

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how about this track ‘MechANICal?’ [above] I heard that Roy made you play it by use of an interesting coaching method.

Well, it was mainly about trespassing; trespassing property. There’s nothing like stepping over caution tape. It’s like Walt Disney creating this wonderful Disneyland of adventure, and then saying  ’Sorry, not for you!’ I mean, the campus wasn’t a Disneyland, but in a sense, anything hidden is worth learning more about. I was curious, and so I did it, and ended up with a song. One of the first songs I’ve ever written. When I got on campus I took off all the caution tape and made this giant BobDylan/Einstein-esque face with it on the grass, chalked up the sidewalk with the question why. (And really, why?!? I mean, if you really want people staying off campus, tape isn’t the best barrier. Get magical evil dogs or something). And then I ran in the fountain. This is where Mechanical was born. Sitting drenched in this fountain, that I still swear had eels in it. I suppose through rebellion, I felt more in touch with something bigger than myself – freedumb. My mother told me the song was awful, and it almost never saw the light of day. Until Roy put a gun to my head and forced me to play it (true story).
Nostalghia_2

Nostalghia – ‘You and I’

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so… that’s the occasional recording method. how about the writing process?

Oh god. I don’t know if I’d call it a process. More like a psychosis. I write songs in ten minutes. Then I walk up to strangers and ask if they can screw me up a bit more before I hit the studio, just a little jab to the brain. No. But I do write in ten minutes, and insist on recording the basics of it right away. Roy loves recording to a click track. I want to kill them. So for at least five minutes I’m telling him how much I hate click tracks, and he’s saying, ‘Well, we don’t have to use it, it’ll just make it more difficult if we don’t’ and I’m swaying back and forth, until eventually I’m set up to a click track. One day, I’d like to record in the middle of a forest. Or on a long line, that lets me run through the sand, and really feel alive. Right now, we record in Roy’s bathroom, not as exotic, but he does have a nice floral spray.

Nostalghia – ‘I Am Robot’

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it sounds like this – making music – is something you both knew that you were supposed to do:

Roy always wanted this. He spewed from Pennsatucky and straight into the jaws of music. I feel very lucky to have met my musical soul mate at such a young age. I sort of, always innately knew, that music was it for me, I just didn’t believe I was any good. I didn’t know I could sing until about three years ago. I was always a writer, pen to paper all the time. I tricked my parents into buying this karaoke machine (if I was singing other’s songs it was deemed safe), and used it as a tool for hearing my voice back. I slaved for hours in my room, trying to figure out if I had vibe. My mother would walk in and I’d be playing concerts for the world. It was embarrassing. But that silver piece of junk really helped me solidify what music was to me. It boiled in my blood, and when playing, I was a goner, transcendent. It really helped to meet Roy, he was one of the first to truly believe in what was pouring out of me, and now he helps make my spewage into something pretty.

Nostalghia – ‘Love Will Make Us Insane’

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[web exclusive! join the band's Facebook page and get a free download of this track]

and lastly, seeing how you have a show coming up – your range is something that would make even Jeff Buckley blush, but what about the live gigs? I saw a video of you on YouTube sitting down [below] seemingly bleeding all over the floor with emotion, but then I hear a new track like the gypsy-influenced ‘Love Will Make Me Insane’ [above]… what’s the best mindset/physical expectation of you all performing in the flesh?

Live shows are my favorite, I get to be however I feel, and my capsule doesn’t matter. I am bigger than myself on stage, all my blood rushes to the white of my skin, to my palms, I am you, and the man next to you, and the woman behind you, I am raw, and real, and what everyone feels like doing but only some do. I am dust. Nothing. Just blood, and guts, and truth on a fancy clubs floor. And I’m fucking lucky to have a beautiful band (even strings!) to withhold me. I play a lot of strange instruments, and often I’m pulled to the ground. Not because I’m shy, but because I like how it vibrates when everyone plays, like taking off in a spaceship, and I’m allowed to be alien. Roy is a madman on stage. He plays a bunch of weird shit, and makes it sound incredibly cohesive. He lets me be, and lets me bleed, and lets me breathe, and lets me move, and lets me do whatever the hell I want. And I just cross my fingers, that maybe some people will walk away feeling more…human…alive. I want to wake people up, and I want to tell them that it’s okay to feel.

Nostalghia_3

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if you’re anywhere in the L.A. area on February 2nd, do yourself a favor and catch their show at the Paul Gleason Theater.

also! visit their Facebook page for an exclusive listen to ‘Cool for Chaos!’, the first single from their upcoming sophomore album.

tuesdays with tara – volume twenty-seven

“Some people’s love is so new, they just can’t keep it inside.”

You have a box. It’s a little box of us. It’s a time capsule, really. It charts a progression. It starts and stops. It sharply reveals a gap; a chasm of time. It’s when we let go; when we put it to bed. Only it didn’t stay put, which is how I can be in your room now reading about how I felt in 1994.

There was a time back then when all we had were letters and the phone. Thousands of miles stretched between us. Both of us, on separate coasts, struggling to find ourselves in new environments. We talked to each other; and I mean really talked. It was safer for us then when we couldn’t see the other’s face and yet it caused us hardship. It’s what we had to work with and we did what we could with these limited tools. I will always argue that we did the best we could.

And so you called, late at night, and you weren’t sober. It was just easier for you that way and I understood exactly why because I felt the same way. I sometimes wondered how often we must have been feeling the same way without realizing it. We weren’t in a position to use such knowledge to our advantage then. You once said to me, about us, that we had to be tempered by life to have this at long last. I agree with you. I believed that truer words could not have been spoken of us, and so very many words have been spoken of us. You saved more than a few. You gave them a home in that box. You carried them all of these years and treated them with a reverence. I like what it says about your character. I like what I said on July 8, 1994 after we spoke on the phone:

“Have you ever swam in a pool in the summertime, right after a thunderstorm, in the dark? The water is so warm and it’s so dark that you can’t make out your body in the water and you just sort of melt away into the warmth and the darkness and the smell of grass post-storm. That’s how it felt to hear your voice. It was like squishing my toes into mud or wet sand. It was like closing my eyes in the snow and letting the flakes collect on the shelves of my eyelashes. It was like waking up and feeling my kitten’s breath on my tummy as he curled up next to me. It was like being back in my fuzzy zip-up pajamas with the feet. It was like waking up in the middle of the night on a family road trip and finding out that we were in a new state. It was like how I feel when I look at a picture of me, my sister and brother, laying in a circle like flower petals, our heads touching and autumn leaves covering our bodies. Let me know if I can elaborate any more on this matter.”

And we have this because you kept it. We have this because it mattered to you.

It’s sixteen years later and we no longer need the phone.

Donovan Woods – ‘Phone’

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Tara appears every Tuesday here. and almost every day there. ‘that’s a lot of Tara!’, you might say, until you read her and then you’ll realize it’s not nearly enough.

the friday cinco 12 – john wicks [drummer to the stars]

John Wicks [not taken by me]

I’ve got a thing for nice guys.

see, with a former career in radio and having spent enough time in LA, I’ve met some famous people. I’ve also met some talented people. sometimes, they’re even both. but more often than not, they’re rarely famous, talented and genuinely nice.

John Wicks is all of those – his niceness will most likely mean he will never admit to being a big deal, but a quick look at his resume will tell you that he is, in fact, not just a drummer to the stars, but a star himself:

B.O.B., Bruno Mars, Cee Lo, Meshell Ndegeocello, Chocolate Genius Inc., Fitz & The Tantrums, RZA, David Byrne, George Clinton, Money Mark, Mike Watt, Heather Porcaro, Skerik, Sam Sparro, NASA, Gift Of Gab, Chali 2na, John Fruciante, Teddy Bears w/ Iggy Pop, Brandi Shearer, Cory Chisel, Donovan Frankenreiter, Jessie Baylin, Joshua Radin, Zack Hexum, Soccermom, and many more…

after a Tweet [ugh] about how happy I was that Fitz and The Tantrums brought back real music, he responded with a ‘thanks’ and I decided to exploit his kindness with a few messages back and forth in hopes of talking him into an interview.

he, obviously, agreed, and with no hesitation, taking a lot of time out to go back-and-forth with every one of my questions… and then some.

John Wicks is simply a great guy. he’s a talented guy. and he took the time to do this… in between playing at Daryl Hall’s house and showing up on Carson Daly.

enjoy.

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okay, first off, you’ve played with the most eclectic group of musicians imaginable… from Bruno Mars to GZA, David Bryne to George Clinton, Meshell Ndegeocello to Donovan Frankenreiter and many, many more. not asking you to pick a favorite here, but give us a few career highlights:

One of my main goals as a musician has always been to “speak without an accent” in as many styles of music as possible.  I’ve been very blessed that these artists you mentioned and/or the producers I worked with on their records trusted me enough to be a part of their music.  I have to say though, I record on a lot of artists’ records without ever having the pleasure of meeting them.  Bruno Mars is an example of this.  I co-wrote and played on a song called “The Other Side” that was originally intended for Cee Lo Green’s record but ended up on Bruno Mars record!  That type of thing happens a lot these days.

Honestly, I have to say that recording Marc Anthony Thompson’s (aka Chocolate Genius Inc.) record “Swan Songs” earlier this year was definitely a career highlight and truly an honor.  I have been such a fan of his music since his record “Black Music” came out in 1998.  I actually kinda stalked him shortly after moving to LA seven years ago.  He was doing a residency at Largo and I approached him with  a disc containing Pro Tools session files of music that I had been working on with the hopes that he would just sing anything over them.  Well he never did it because of some computer glitch, but I must have made some kind of impression on him because he checked out my Myspace page and dug what he heard enough to contact me from New York just to say hi and stay in touch.  A few years went by and I got a call to do a couple of local casual gigs with him and then the record date!  While tracking his record, I cried with joy and emotional overload just hearing his voice coming through the headphones.  That realization of a dream was so powerful, and the joy of knowing that my playing and my musical decisions actually worked for his music still gives me so much satisfaction.

Doing that record also led to the opportunity to tour and play with Meshell.  The guitarist on that Chocolate Genius record was Chris Bruce who has been playing with Meshell for quite some time, and he gave her my number.  She has been a musical hero of mine for a long time.  Earlier this year, because of high demand from her fans, she decided to re-visit the material on her record entitled “Bitter” which is a shared favorite of both my wife and I, so it was very special getting to do those songs with her in a very stripped down trio format.  I learned a TON on this gig.  Meshell and Chris are great teachers as well as beautiful human beings.  It was another dream realized.

you mentioned finding your sound while attending Mardi Gras as a kid, but then later would work under Dave Coleman Sr., one of Billie Holidays guys, but still stick to sounding ‘southern’. what does a Southern Louisiana Jazz-understudy sound sound like?

My father was a Commander in the Navy.  We moved around a lot during my early childhood and one place we were fortunate enough to live was New Orleans.  My mother was extremely enthusiastic about music, jazz in particular.  If there was music happening, my mom was there and she always had me in tow whether it was a jazz funeral, Mardi Gras, Preservation Hall, or whatever.  When we lived in Pensacola, Florida, we would hang outside of a black gospel church almost every Sunday just to hear the music.  We felt like we would be looked at as impostors if we entered, until finally one Sunday, they just invited us in.  It felt like we were floating a couple of feet off of the ground.  All of these early experiences had a huge impact on me, and I’m so grateful to have lived in that part of the country during that time.  When my dad retired from the Navy, we moved up to Bainbridge Island, WA. Even though we didn’t live in the South any longer, I always found myself unknowingly gravitating towards drummers from New Orleans.  Most notably, Vernel Fournier.  My mom and dad were huge fans of pianist Ahmad Jamal and had his record “Live At The Pershing” which really features Vernel.  That was it.  It had everything I wanted.  Swing, funk, bounce, space, clarity, everything.  It still blows my mind and inspires me on a daily basis.  That is what I strive for, that level of groove, discipline, and musicality, no matter what style of music I’m playing.

now – to the present, over the past few years there’s been this Motown/soul/Stax Records revival of sorts and no one is doing that better than Fitz & The Tantrums, a band you’re drumming for. we all know what it’s like from down here, but what is it like day in/day out for you all? hang on, that sounded generic – what I’m trying to say is that based on the occasional shot we see of the crowd in the live shows, people seem to be having a genuinely good time as opposed to the previous shoe-gazer movement… if that makes sense?

Being from a jazz background, I’m used to usually playing for a couple of drunks at the bar and a bartender who is either preoccupied with a game on TV or is looking at us like we’ve got 5 heads or something.  This is the first band I’ve been involved with where it has a broad appeal and an enormous amount of wind in it’s sails.  It’s always a surprise when I look out and not only are people dancing like crazy, but they are singing all of the words as well!

As far as what it’s like day in and day out for us; In short we are all learning how to make this thing work smoothly with our personal lives which can be tough at the rapid rate that we are working.  There are so many decisions to be made, and so many personal factors that come into play.  The heat is really turned up on me as the only guy in the band with a wife, babies, and a mortgage.  It is a juggling act especially when the work is out of town.  I have to trust that the work I’m being asked to do is worth missing out on the experience of looking at my twin girls grow in front of my eyes.

It is really mind-blowing when I think of how fast this band has taken off.  We played our first gig at Hotel Cafe in LA almost exactly 2 years ago.  Since then we’ve been the support act for Flogging Molly, Maroon 5, and Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings playing dream venues like Red Rocks and college stadiums.  We signed to a great label in Dangerbird, had our music placed in commercials and T.V. shows.  I have to say though that the biggest thrill that happens now is witnessing the ever growing audience that we are connecting with, and it’s such a positive energy being mirrored back at us at every show.  I’m still in disbelief.  Especially since all of this has happened solely on word of mouth and the quality of the songs.

what’s in store for FATT? tours? new album? things must be insane right now…

You know, I kind of use my Google Alerts as a gauge of how crazy the buzz is and right now the buzz IS insane!  I’m getting an alert every hour on the hour.  We’ve made it on so many “Best of 2010″ lists, it just boggles my mind.

On January 12th we play on the Jimmy Kimmel show and then we leave the next day for a month long tour with only a couple of days off.  It’s our first tour on a proper tour bus, and it’s our first extended tour as the headliner!  We’re doing mostly East coast and Mid-West cities but it also marks our first entrance into Canada.  I’m not stoked about the cold and the snow but at least this time we’ll have a professional driver and I can sleep.

We just started writing and recording for our next record a couple of weeks ago, which I’m really stoked about.  I have an enormous collection of drums.  Some beautiful and some serious Fat Albert meets Sanford and Son looking stuff.  I’m using it all and getting some really great sounds and really making an effort to play some original, new grooves that are still super hooky and danceable.

you’ve also worked with Mickey Avalon, who seems to have caught onto that controversial self-promotional thing that has worked for so many before him – Marilyn Manson, Bowie, Lady Gaga, etc. what, in the world, is a former-addict/prostitute-cum-rapper like to work with? and better yet, what does Daddy tell the twin girls when he gets home from work?

You know, I’ve only met Mickey briefly at the Sundance Film Festival a couple of years ago.  I was there with Money Mark and we played just before him.  I had heard the stories about his health issues prior to meeting him or ever hearing his music.  All I could think of that evening was that it was kind of sad that the crowd was really there to see the train wreck.  Don’t get me wrong, they were singing along to his stuff so I think they dug the music but the vibe was just not a positive one.  I’m a fan of all of the folks you mentioned in your question.  I think Lady Gaga is a legitimate talent as is Marilyn Manson, and I can also tell that they are very intelligent people.  Of course Bowie is just one of my faves of all time.  I think they all are masters of pushing people’s buttons and being visually exciting but hopefully not letting it overshadow the music.  I just wish Mickey could see that line, but if drugs are involved he’s not going to see anything.  I originally co-wrote and played on a song that was intended for him, but he was dropped or put on hiatus from his label until he gets healthy so the song ended up with another artist.  As for what I tell the girls, at one and a half they are too young to know what that all means.  When they are old enough though, we’re gonna be living in the wilderness and I’m just gonna sit on my porch, polishing my shotgun waiting for potential suitors.  Just kiddin’.  Sort of.

give us a few highlights of a career that started from the day you picked up some drumsticks in the 3rd grade.

There are too many, so I’m just gonna run off the first few that come to mind.

1.  Playing a festival in Holland with my high school jazz ensemble, I realized that you could see the world and play music.  Never looked back.
2.  Playing with and getting to know Money Mark.  He’s a dear friend and a genius.
3.  Playing with, recording with, and getting to know Marc Anthony Thompson aka Chocolate Genius.
4.  Working with Cee Lo Green.  I only wish he was allowed to put out the incredible, innovative songs that I have heard him invent.
4.  Studying with Joe Hunt in Boston.  He made me a better listener.
5.  Playing with organist Joe Doria and guitarist Dan Heck in Seattle for years was a huge learning experience.
6.  Teaching.  I love doing it.
7.  Buying a house, and paying off my car knowing that drums did it for me.
8.  There was a night at The Echo where all of us in Fitz & The Tantrums collectively felt the tide shift in our favor.  Folks were singing along, partying, sweating and we all felt this floaty high for a while when we got off of stage and just kinda stood wide-eyed asking “What just happened?!”
9.  Before drums paid the rent, I had day jobs ranging from barista to working in a slaughter house in but one career highlight that I hold dear is that I never worked in a cubicle.  I’m not knocking folks that do it, I just don’t think I’m built for it.

who are you listening to?

Again, too much to list here, so here are the CD’s strewn about in my car.  Major Lazer, Obi Best, a lot of late 80′s/early 90′s New Jack Swing stuff, anything with James Gadson on drums, Cameo, Siouxie & The Banshees, Missing Persons, ELO, Divinyls, B-52′s, Deee Lite, ABC, and anything that came out of Sigma Sound Studios.

here’s a question I’ve never seemed to get the same answer to, no matter how many people I ask. best drummer of all time… Neal Peart? Keith Moon? Terry Bozzio? I once sat down at a pub in England with Roger Pope [of Elton John, Hall and Oats fame] and he puts Phil Collins up there in the Top 10 – say it ain’t so!

Stevie Wonder.

after seeing this, I might have to agree with you.

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follow John on Twitter.

read John’s blog.

go see John play.

tuesdays with tara – volume twenty-five

“By the time I get the courage, I am drunk and you are tired.”

It was a Saturday night, so very long ago; a stiff summer night with the windows thrown wide and beads of sweat tickling my sides, that you walked through the door and changed that year.

We had a crew in those days.  We gathered on the shag carpet (the one that smelled of bong water and so much laughter), passed a jug of badbad wine, overflowed ashtrays and sang well into the dawn of the next day.

And the night you came through the door, I was already riding too high.  There was something about the way you carried yourself and the way you locked eyes with me.  Where did you come from?  Why did you choose me?

I wasn’t supposed to like you.  You were my boyfriend’s guitar teacher.  I liked you anyway.  I liked your band.  I liked that you named your guitar Kitten.  I liked your hounds-tooth jacket that smelled of the Captain Black you always kept in the pocket.

You wrote me a song and you gave me the tape when no one was looking.  The chorus was, “I love you most when I’m leaving.”  I felt that.

Once I had a fever and I swore I saw you standing in the doorway of my bedroom.  I never knew if it was real or a fever dream.

You wrote poetry.  You wrote a book of poems for your thesis.  Chapter Three were mine.  I knew as soon as I read them though you never dedicated them to me outright.

We stalked the streets in the early hours before the sun rose.  Clutching a bottle of whiskey in a paper bag, we climbed trees, tucked little messages into park benches, laid in the grass and looked up at the stars and talked about Walt Whitman.

Then there was the night that I wish had never happened.  The night we drank that entire bottle of vodka and held one another in someone else’s bed.  You thrashed around in your sleep, moaning another woman’s name.  My heart broke into a hundred pieces.  I sat there next to you, my knees to my chest, tears streaming down my face; just frozen and isolated and bereft.

I drifted from you and I did it quietly.  Your eyes were so full of hurt when you looked at me.  You didn’t know why and I couldn’t say.  You slipped me a note: “I gotta’ know what’s going on in there.  No more Alcatraz.”

And I never told you.  And you just went away.  Like you were never really there at all.

But I swore, I would never love your kind again.  And I haven’t; unless you count your ghost.

Sharon Van Etten – ‘A Crime’

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written by Tara Noble. she’s not just for Christmas, you know.

tuesdays with tara – volume twenty-four

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‘Believe me. I know.’

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Heartache is a place.  It’s a place we are afraid to go.  I’d rather do just about anything but go there.  It’s dark and damp, mournful and slow.

It’s making your way through your days as though under water.  You see out through your eyes, but simply cannot connect.  People speak words at you, but your pain muffles the sounds.  You nod, to be polite, but you hear nothing.

It’s a forced retreat. A trip you take yourself on. A trip that will, in fact, rip you down the center, and not even neatly, and pull your stuffing out; pick you clean.

It takes tremendous courage to go on this journey.  But you will not be in the mood to pat yourself on the back.  No, you will put all of your strength into going through the motions just long enough that you can reward yourself by collapsing into a pillow, curling up on the floor, putting a dent in a bottle of whiskey.

Pass through the eye of this needle and come through, ragged and sore, but stand again.

Mournful.
Slow.
Terrifying.
Necessary.

What feels like a dying will, in fact, be one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.  It’s a chance to cast off what was not nourishing.  It’s the rebirth of possibility.  It just ain’t free.

Paleo – ‘Mournful and Slow’

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for more of Tara, visit her in her own home. or in her archives here.

finally.

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the strangest thing happened the other day, and it wasn’t me physically paying for an album, or having to Google ‘how to import a CD into iTunes’… although they were close.

no, something even stranger happened. and I can’t remember that last time that was done with new music.

but something tells me it doesn’t come as any shock to Fitz. or his Tantrums.

I swear, there was only a few seconds of a few chords, played at a very low level over a phone commercial. as soon as I heard it, I reached over and grabbed the pen on my nightstand and scribbled down ‘FITZ’. when I woke up the next morning, it took a few minutes to decipher, but as soon as that was done, I must have spent the next 3 hours listening to the same 4 songs on repeat.

and then used money I didn’t have to actually wait outside a record store here in Bend until they opened, nervously asking the owner if he had what I was looking for. he had – and happened to have been listening to the same record over-and-over the other day.

someone had finally brought new music into a good old form.

finally.

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I’ll leave the bio to those who write good bios – frontman Fitz is, well – think David Bryne if he had signed to Stax Records in the early 60′s… had they been based in Northern France. add some velvet vocals and a serious backing – drummer John Wicks [of George Clinton, Mike Watt, and RZA to name a few... plus a seriously nice guy.] highlighting that core – and you’ve got the next big thing. and for once, that title is deserved.

they’re making headlines everywhere they play, so finding press on ‘em won’t be hard. but do yourself a favor and spend 10 minutes taking in a few songs.

as I believe you’ll be buying a few for Christmas.

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tuesdays with tara – volume twenty-six

So, if this weight is gonna’ kill me, well, kill me then and bring me home to you.”

I’ve thrown in the towel.  I am not fighting you anymore; not this.  I just won’t.

Somewhere in a forgotten field there’s a well that I dug and it’s filled with the pain and longing that I pitched over my shoulder.  Let it go stagnant.  Let it dry right up.  I won’t be going there again.

I have expended so much strength; strength I could have put to much better use, waging this war against you; against this.

I pull and you push and reverse that motion and aren’t you tired of this because I know I am.

I don’t think allowing myself to fall for you will kill me. Denying that I wanted to, that I needed to in some fundamental way, chipped away more than I care to admit.

No matter about any of that now.

Forgive yourself and forgive me and dream deeper and hope for all you ever wanted and then some.

That’s what I intend to give to you.

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Tara Noble

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[for more 'tuesdays with tara', click here. and then put aside 3 to 4 hours.]

tuesdays with tara – volume twenty three

If you ask me, David Byrne is one of the most interesting people alive.  I would do his bidding; without question.  Once, on my way to Salt Lake City from Portland, Oregon, I stopped to have my palm read.  The elderly woman asked me to first run to the market and get her a six pack of Vernor’s ginger ale and a box of Nilla Wafers.  She was very specific about the items and their quantities.  I felt silly at the grocery buying those things for that complete stranger, but I trusted that it must be all part of the overall plan.  Could be she just wanted a snack.  I may never know.  But it doesn’t really matter what David requested of me because I would just do it, full stop; even if it at first seemed morally dubious, because I think the man’s a genius.

Mr.Byrne is one of those people who has the power to do something about his knowledge and curiosity and exercises it with abandon.  I like that about him.  He’s like that cool kid that you know who’s socially awkward but is forever discovering something amazing that he’s totally psyched to share with you.  These people are always good to have in ones life.  They’ll teach you plenty.

So when David Byrne wanted to tell me about Os Mutantes, I listened.  And then I was completely blown away.

Mr.Byrne decided the world at large needed to know about this enigmatic band, and I know I am the better for it.

This is a band that was formed in Brazil in the 60′s.  They are classified as being one of the pioneers of the Tropicalia movement; an experimental movement that combined psychedelic music with other forms of artistic expression.  One of the many artists to collaborate with them included Gilberto Gil.  They were actually arrested and exiled by the military junta of the time; who obviously feared their awesomeness.  Also awesome?  The fact that in 1993, Kurt Cobain wrote a letter to Arnaldo Baptista, the founder of the band, begging them for a reunion tour.

And apparently they DID reunite, though the roster has gone through may upheavals.  The list of former and current members reads like the characters of 100 Years of Solitude.  I have even read that they played the Glastonbury Festival this year, which is sort of a big freaking deal.

The point is that this track absolutely rocks and, in my opinion, has a never-ending shelf life.  I can imagine enjoying this song ten years from now and I probably will; thanks to my buddy David;)

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[Tara wrote this. she also writes a lot of other stuff. you should read her other stuff.]