I am not one of those bah hum bug types that dreads this time of year. For me, Christmas is, and has always been, all about my family; people who I am happy to say I am rather fond of and very attached to.

Yes, I am very much a family girl. Paradoxically, I always tend to live extremely far away from them. I returned from five years in Turkey only to haul ass across the entire expanse of the nation to Oregon. One would think I were making some sort of statement. It’s not the case. It’s just how my hand has played out.

The downside to this is that my one vacation of the year is usually spent flying home for Christmas. I don’t have to go into the headaches of flying during the holidays, or the additional expense of flying that time of year. But I will throw in the added crap fest of flying into a snowy place at that time of year and the flight delays and wing de-icings and emergency road closures. You know, just because I can.

In my entire life, I have only ever spent two Christmases away from my family.

The first was the year I was married (so so long ago!). Having gotten hitched and moved across the country, we were just too busted to fly home. We decided to drive out to Salt Lake City to spend the holiday with my sister in law, who was in similar financial straits that year.

Unfortunately, Salt Lake City freaked me the heck out. So white! So tidy! Everything closes at 6! The Temple is an ever present shadow! The beer is so weak!

We gave it a go. Honestly, we did our best. But I called home and whilst listening to the drunken merriment on the other end of the phone, proceeded to unravel entirely and curl into fetal position to cry myself stupid. It was a dark moment.

The last time I didn’t go home also involved a lack of funds: my first year in Turkey. I cannot tell you how incredibly pathetic it felt to be living in a country that didn’t even celebrate the holiday I would be missing so much. At first I thought the lack of Christmas-related ephemera would be advantageous. It only added to the sense of dislocation and alienation that I felt. I remember thinking that I was now living in a country in which one of the major celebrations involved the slaughtering of animals. It was another dark moment.

I won’t be going home this year. Again, it’s a matter of funds and the lack thereof. But I’ve made peace with all of this and am determined to do my best to make the most of what I do have ( an absolutely lovely man, two sweet kitties and a cozy home) and be happy for the people I love back home. I will miss them. I will yearn to be there. But I am determined not to fall apart and sob big baby tears.

I may even succeed!

She & Him – ‘The Christmas Waltz’

-

for Christmas, you should do something nice for yourself and join the ‘T w T’ Facebook page.

man, I’m in a good mood – and that might have to do with a whole lotta stuff. the new cover of the book came in this afternoon and we’re almost done and up for public consumption. it randomly got colder in NYC and the golden bath of a clear sunset lit up Lady Liberty on my drive back over the Manhattan Bridge on the way home from work – sometimes I wait on the corner until a tour bus goes over so I have an excuse not to drive 45mph and I can take it all in along with those paying. maybe it’s because I caved and started dieting – a bit. trading my bagel for fruit and eating smaller portions more times a day than my usual treat, which has sadly resulted in me feeling fantastic. maybe it’s because of stuff happening that you can kind of see here, maybe it’s cause I got pals like Johnny B – tattooed as a muthafucka and who’s good in a pinch – but still thanks me for bein’ his pal. maybe it’s because this horribly cheesy pop song that I’d never admit to you soberly that I like, but how often am I writing when I’m not? I’ll tell you now in case you ever look at my iPod and I stutter – it’s this… except I don’t know how to hyperlink [blessing] in this new format, so just know it’s bad. I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry. it came along on a really good fuckin’ day so I won’t apologize… much. I’m mostly sorry. or maybe it’s because twice a day, I cross a bride to/from Gotham – a cousin of mine wrote on my FB wall today that he’d always wanted to visit and here-I-fucking-am. or because I got to see Brother Cohn last weekend and an hour with him lasts my insides for a year. I don’t know. maybe it’s because of a few of the forms in front of me, or what was in the cardboard box that now lies on my bed in the basement that I live where I can sing along badly to this track and [hopefully] no one hears. there’s a grate, so maybe, but it’s Brooklyn and no one cares. or because Sister Jenni is in town and unknowingly reminds me of a not-so-innocence lost? it could be a lot of things – or maybe not. maybe it’s the wine.

or maybe it’s cause sometimes, a good mood just comes along and I like celebrating it.

the spell check suggests it’s the wine.

fuck it – I’m happy.

[and even more so you can't hear this song - sheesh]

as you can see from this fabulous makeover, there’s changes in the air – and it’s not just aesthetical. I’m not sure that’s a word, but this wine disagrees, so we’re going to go with it for now.

for the past 3-4 months – along with finalizing the book, getting it ready for Amazon and iPads and the masses [who else is there, really?] – myself and a few others have been going back-and-forth on a little [now big] idea I’ve had for the better part of 5 years. that new title on the header bar might give you a clue…

it’s a really good idea and is in no way original, but it still just might work. there’s still not a lot I can say about it, which is tough, seeing how I’m crap at keeping exciting news a secret, but I can tell you it’s exciting news. I can also tell you that all of your wildest web dreams are about to come true – I’m about 72% sure of it.

here’s also what I can tell you:

- the OMKOS and rough sundays podcasts have all been archived and will be back here.

- I’m getting back into making little movies.

- I miss local live music.

- my current Flickr is messy.

- I am constantly blessed with meeting the most interesting and wonderful of people.

- there’s another book being worked on.

- and an app.

…

okay, so I was going to space all of that out over the next few months, but this wine is too tasty.

basically, what I’m saying is this:

check back often.

excuse the mess.

and get ready to see something pretty fuckin’ cool.

more soon.

a

-

the little basement was basically done – one weekend’s hangover overtaking and me gutting the entire section, a few trips to Ikea and a lot of sweeping. my own little cave, with a desk and a couch and a chair and an end table. but it was missing something. I didn’t know what at first, but it lacked soul – somewhere in my new lounge was a spot for one more thing and thank fuck it didn’t feel like it needed to be Swedish. and then it hit me – a turntable. a real record player! for those rainy mornings or times needing to hide from daylight. I had no idea what to buy. growing up on my parent’s one, sure – with Perry Como, The Beatles White Album and a lot of Otis Redding, but since the invention of the compact disc, mini disc and then iPod, my travels had never allowed me a time and place to have one. oh sure, most nights at Scott’s or P’s were huddled around one, but they also had records from years – if not decades – of collecting. and vinyl was considered illegal when I lived in Shanghai. true story. so I never had one and now I wanted one. but again – what to buy? I didn’t know which was which, so I emailed Scott. ‘Scott’ I wrote – only I didn’t write ‘Scott’, I wrote ‘neighbor’, cause that’s what we do – ‘neighbor, am in need of some turntable consulting – what do you suggest I buy?’. and wouldn’t you know it, he wrote write back saying ‘dude!’ [only he didn't say 'dude', he said 'neighbor', but I'm trying to mix it up for you] – ‘neighbor! how fucking weird – I was just about to move to [removed] and had P’s old player and didn’t know what to do with it, seeing how I couldn’t take it!’. well, now, if you know anything about the 3 of us, or you’ve read the book, or both, you’ll know how big this was. in Scott’s possession was an heirloom, an oscillating machine of friendship fuel, owned by one, inherited by another and now possibly passed-down to the last. but we had a problem – it was in Shanghai. and you can’t just pack up a turntable in Shanghai – one that’s priceless – and send to the US. so Scott wrote some more ‘might be tricky, though – unless you know anyone coming from Shanghai to the States’ – and even then they would have to take it to the Post Office and send to me in NYC. poop, right? yes – poop. we were so close and I didn’t understand why we would have been allowed to be so close and it not happen. so we left it.

a few days later, another dear friend of mine named Riaad emailed me out of the blue saying he was going to be flying from [you can see where this is going] – flying from Shanghai to Portland, OR and didn’t know if I was in the area or what, but did I need anything from the ‘Hai? I did, actually, and asked him a Godfather’s Daughter’s Wedding Favor, to haul this bad boy over with him, and I’d sort out a way to get FedEx to pick it up and then to me. problem with this is that I didn’t even want to think about how much that might cost, so I didn’t. if I had to eat water and raw toast for breakfast for a month, then I would. fuck it, right? yes – fuck it. the next day, work gave me my dates I was to be in Seattle and [you can see where this is going] – wouldn’t you know it? I was to be 3 hours North of where Riaad was going to be. at the same time. so, I hired a car one weekend, went to see him, got the turntable, took him on a tour of [removed - to be used in the new project launching in Nov], and then brought the turntable back to Seattle with me, through customs on the way back and down the stairs to its new home in Brooklyn.

and what did I see lying on my bed? a large package from editor-at-large, Sunny. it was about 12” x 12” and [you can see where this is going] it was a record by Otis Redding. keep in mind, neither Sunny, nor anyone else – save for Riaad and Scott – knew nothing about my Turntable Adventure 3000, but just so happened to pass a store with this in it, think of me, mail it and somehow time it so that it was waiting there for me on my return.

ri-fucking-diculous.

I plugged it in – got some technical help from Scott and Otis on. the needle is old and it needs some doctoring per the counterweight, but whatever…

see, I’m a big believer in surrounding yourself with things that make you happy on a daily basis. my little Vespa, for example. it’s noisy and smokey and getting a license for it turned into a major pain in the ass, but every morning, when I cross over the Manhattan Bridge, with downtown New York fuckin’ City waking up in front me – a quick look to the left to see Lady Liberty keeping watch – I smile. and I’m not a huge smiler. but I smile. sometimes I shake my head, but most of the time, that’s not a good idea on the bridge on a Vespa. but it’s a daily reminder of my fortune.

and now – when I come home – and walk by this music playing device that has had the hands of the brotherhood on it, I smile as well. I smile because the world works in bizarre and wonderful ways and I have friends who act on instinct and schlep large electronics around the world and make it all work out.

I mentioned it doesn’t sound perfect – and it doesn’t.

who knows why – definitely not me.

but I also don’t want it to be fixed.

cause, brother, I got to be honest…

it sounds perfect.

every time I go to write something, I usually don’t write something because writing takes effort. and I’m trying to enjoy the downtime between this book being officially released [read: on Amazon in the next few weeks, ebooks, etc.] and the next one starting. it’s a collection of short stories between Dec ’08-present. I’m looking forward to starting it, and I’m looking even more forward to being done with the first one. did you know I’ve never even read it? it’s sitting right next to me, as I had to reference it for a slight design change, but I’ve never picked it up. I should though, it’s a good book. but I digress…

this shall be the most random of catch-ups. I’m doing it more for me than you, but that shouldn’t come as a shock:

- it’s a shame we lost in the final minutes of the Women’s World Cup. it’s a shame we don’t give a shit. but well-played [for the first 108 minutes, at least], girls. you actually made female professional sports exciting. weird.

- the Vespa Saga continues. that actually deserves its own post and I will – as soon as I’m official – post the entire headache. if I do it now, I’ll just be annoyed.

- speaking of annoyed. I can no longer hide my insane jealousy for Mel and Nick’s choice to put their stuff in storage, quit their [very successful] careers and took off sailing the world for a few years. the only thing that outdoes my envy is my intrigue. and respect.

- this has been a favorite summer song for some time, and it is again this summer. hey, you should make it one of yours.

- oh! the second day in Philly I wanted to tell you about? the crazy castle [yes, castle. see below] we went to, built by the eccentric tile-maker James Mercer? one of the coolest places in the States, I kid you not. the website doesn’t do it justice. well worth a day trip from Philly. no photos allowed inside, but I got a few of the exterior.

- the hair stylist convinced me to get something called a ‘keratin blowout’ done to my locks. I’m still confused to what happened.

- the ’101 best sandwich’ attempt died out [shocking!], as they were all a] more than $10 and b] beginning to not be within walking distance from my office.

- my office is in the exact area the term ’23 skidoo’ was coined. good band as well.

- I haven’t picked up my Leica once since moving to NYC. this hipstamatic stuff is brilliant.

- ah. yes. photos and NYC – that reminds me. took a shot of this the other week and made a point of going back when it was open. one of the coolest shops I’ve ever been in. worth a trip to Park Slope. am pretty sure it’s a Dave Eggers project.

- speaking of iStuff. if you have an iPad, download this. Brother Scott did the music for it and it’s been charting for weeks now on Apple.

- while I’ve always been mildly interested in the occult, reading ‘The Serpent and The Rainbow’ has elevated my curiousity in voodoo and black magic to a point of virtual hopelessness. I’m obsessed. have never seen the film, but have it downloaded for when I’m done.

- speaking of things to watch, I get about 40 minutes a week of time to do it, but Californication is one of the smartest shows ever to come out of the States. season 5 especially.

- this also looks amazing.

- NYC is a fucking fun town. has anyone ever said that before?

- Brother Ben [remember Brother Ben?] has a new project he’s working on and needs help. am hoping to interview him before the deadline, but if not, try and wrap your head around this.

- I rarely drink beer these days. if you email me, I’ll let you in on the best kept secret in the wine world. I’m buying it by the case and would love to say ‘and I’m even dropping some weight in the process’, but no. it is good, though. and cheap.

- please stop using photos of your child for your profile picture on Facebook. Brother Cohn wrote last year that ‘I’m friends with you, not your child’ and it caused a shitstorm. why? I don’t know. photos of your kids on Facebook? of course! photos of you + your kids in your Facebook profile? sure! photos of your kids as your profile photo? no. stop it. it’s weird.

- this little blog is about to have some major changes happen to it. I’m kind of excited. I hope you like it. it’s cool. and exciting… thus, the excitement.

- a copy of my book was handed to Annie Clark [St. Vincent]. I’m totally keeping an eye out for her next album to see if I’m mentioned.

- I’m turning 35 in a few weeks and change. please don’t forget.

- this is a fun town.

- see ya later.

I’m on a bus headed to the Hamptons. and last week, I moved to New York City. it’s all gone a little bit silly. the other night I had to stop and walk into a tattoo parlor and get a new one. it was one of those moments when I wanted to remember. walking with friends, through Brooklyn. I had just moved to New York City. for a good job – and I hate writing that for many reasons. how long I had wanted no part of it. one of my bosses reads this sometimes, so admitting that I walked into the most amazing opportunity means negotiating for more money won’t ever happen. but that’s okay, ’cause I’m being given a very good salary and every day I cross that wonderful bridge and see Manhattan. now maybe that doesn’t mean anything to you or maybe it does – but there’s a magic that happens every morning when I see that skyline. I write like no one has ever said this about New York City before.

I’m late for meeting friends cause I’m too busy taking photos. that’s what this was about, an apology for bein’ away and then I’d point you to my daily little shots from around this town. I’m done posting the diaries – if you want to watch ‘em, they can be found here. they’ll help the book make sense. I wrote a book as well. I wrote a book and then I moved to New York City. today my nephew turns 1 year old and I can’t wait to tell him about his first birthday I’ll be celebrating up in a gorgeous house. you won’t believe this house, brother. I didn’t believe I was moving here. last year I got a little tipsy when he was born. my nephew, that is. he turns me to mush. this town makes me say the f-word a lot. and a few times I found myself sayin’ ‘hey, I’m pretty fucking [see] happy about right now’.

there’s a really pretty girl who’s far away and I wish she could see all of this stuff, but then again, I might want to fix up the basement before she comes. oh yes, I’m moving into a basement tomorrow when I’m back from the Hamptons.I moved to New York City and now I’m headed to the Hamptons and then I’ll come back and move into a basement of a cool house and then I’ll wake up on Monday and go to work, a work I like and then that night, I’m going to have a launch party for the book I just wrote.

ain’t that a kick in the pants.

Ethan Trembley: ‘You can ride with me; I’m going to Hollywood!’

Peter Highman: ‘Los Angeles. No one calls it ‘Hollywood’. You’re going to Los Angeles’

[Due Date]

-

-

I suck at keeping secrets. I might have mentioned that before. in fact, how in the world I managed to keep the video that Josie’s friends and I made her quiet for so long was agonizing. I’ve also, in my past few years of constant fluctuation, not been one to say ‘hey! _______ is happening!’, because, along with a first initial ‘A’ and a last name ‘Queen’, the heavens also get their laughs out of my plannings. so no, I don’t usually mention something until it’s all done. I rarely say things like… oh, I don’t know – ‘I’m moving to New York City!’ because it’d suck if for some reason, I wasn’t able to move to New York City.

but I’m moving to New York City.

[exclamation point]

for the past few months, I’ve been in negotiations/talks/interviews with a funky company there and we finally got to that point where they said ‘would you like to come here?’ and I said ‘sure’ and they said ‘we’ll pay you this much’ and I said ‘sure’.

that was all last night. lots of things to sort out, of course, but I’m going to go ahead and take the chance on mentioning it now.

I’m moving to New York City.

this might not be a big thing to you, if you grew up in a big city, but I didn’t. I grew up in Oklahoma. sure, I’ve spent enough time there to have a favorite bar and a strong group of friends, but I’ve never lived there. I’ve never taken the subway to work. where I had to be on time. which means I need to understand the subway.

‘oh god, the J train is running late again!’ I’ve seen friends write on Twitter. I’ve always wondered what that’s like.

another friend just today wrote a moving piece about the people on the train. don’t read it at work though, you’ll cry.

but yeah.

I’m kind of excited.

a job I like. surrounded by people I adore. in a city that’s rumored to be kind of fun.

so, you know… away we go.

-

we all have those friends who – after years of not seeing each other – pick right up where things were left off. no need for a huge so-tell-me-all-about-what-you’ve-been-up-to? pow-wow. just a hug, a laugh and an adult beverage.

in the theme of complete transparency, when I released the book, I scrolled through my contact list and, have to admit to wondering if a handful of people – like the kind mentioned above: those I don’t keep in constant contact with, despite really liking – would take the time/effort/money to pick up a copy. it’s a sensitive thing, this… art [?]. ask anyone who creates anything – it’s a really personal experience. birth-giving, if you will. with more stretch marks.

well, not only did my friend Neenz pick up a copy, she took the time to write about it yesterday.

‘oh sure’ you say, ‘an image here, a few words there and presto!’, but it’s not that easy. it takes time. thought. research.

and Neenz is a busy lady. a very busy lady. 15,000+ followers on Twitter. on top of everything else she does, she’s even into politics these days [although, many would question why she, herself, isn't running for the Hawaiian Governor title?].

so yeah, this came from a lot of love. and I got to say, I got nothing but the same for this wonderful being.

and she is, most definitely, that. ask anyone who knows her.

this is, officially, my first piece of press. and for it to come from her made my entire week.

-

[it meant a lot to me, lady. thank you.]

uncle aric might need to edit that a bit for your little ears, nephew.

-

these past 4 days have been nuts. this book and I have had an on-again/off-again relationship for the past 3 years, so I guess that it just slowly became an all-consuming part of me. but starting last Thursday, it became something else. it took the first step into being in someone else’s hands. that’s both fun and scary.

by the end of today – again, just 4 days in an advance run – we’ll most likely be in back order country, which is amazing. it’s amazing because I sold 85% of these on Facebook, and the other 15% from here. no paid marketing, no Google Ads, nothing.

and this is all from a book people haven’t read - that’s what I keep reminding myself.

there’s also the argument now to whether or not we go ‘public’, IE: buying an ISBN number, getting on Amazon, etc… to be completely honest, I’m torn with this one. I walked away from two publishers when this first got started for the reason that I wanted complete control, as well as I couldn’t stand waiting around. there are more books in my head [after reading this first one, you might not care to purchase any more, but still...] and I’m already 3-years older than the kid in this book. and it’s time to evolve. I also like the fact that, through extreme luck and fortune, I was able to find a team to help me with this book who are also operating under the same ‘rogue’ description. so I’d really like to be able to sell a handful of these things without ever going to the monsters. everyone now knows how to search for a book, and, if we’ve done our jobs right, then that search will end up here. I’d like to think that everything was bypassed and this book still did decently.

did I mention being 5 books away from a back order? without this book ever seeing anyone’s hands but mine? 195 people. that’s a helluva lot for a first-timer with no advertising. and it has little to do with me.

it must also be said that I’m in talks with a PR team. maybe they want to be on these big sites and they’re much smarter than me. but I’ve spoken to a number of people who are also interested in self-publishing and I’d like to be able to use this first attempt as an example.

so there’s that.

and then, there’s the problem I’ve been running into since this whole thing started. the problem is that I come from two families: The McQueens, and The O’Conners – both Irish. meaning we’re no good with monies. I was taught this at a very young age. money is helpful, but it’s nowhere near the top of things important. so I had this amazing thought of being able to click ‘reject’ on the PayPal button for everyone I owed a great deal of gratitude to.

I started running down the list, doing the math in my head as I went.

and ended up with 7 people who I’d let pay.

seriously.

but, in the end, I got people to pay and a print order to settle up, so I went ahead and took it all.

rest assured though, if I didn’t have these bills, it would have been a pleasure.

a

look, we’ve all played Operationâ„¢, but how many of us have ever stopped to take a look at this poor bastard’s face? we’re too busy going for the easy Wish Bone and laughing at our sister’s inability to remove the Broken Heart to notice something about our patient here…

he’s worried.

sure, a lot of that might stem from being the most unlucky person to ever live, but I’m sure if you asked him, he’d admit to feeling really vulnerable right now. I mean – my man is naked for the entire time you, and loads of other friends, hover over him, while he sits there in his one dimensional existence, being either killed, or laughed at.

I’m kind of going through that these past few days, as it’s been the first time I’ve sent the first proof of the book to a certain few people.

namely, Josie.

see, as you can probably tell, I was anything but a good egg during my 5-year stay in China. there were a lot of drugs and a lot of girls and I was a bit of a douche and was slightly up my own ass. and that’s putting it lightly. so, I get out of Shanghai and decide to pen my memoirs [again, what dick writes his fucking memoirs at 31 years of age? seriously], but, told myself that if I was going to do it, then I was going to have to be 100% honest. and I wasn’t, for the first 3 or 4 drafts, but in the end, had to just lay it all out there and hope it made sense.

so, yes, I’m handed this first proof over to the one person I care most about – imagine that! you’re in love with someone and, as a gift, as a treat!, you give them a pretty raw account of your… ways.

now, it should be said how cool she’s been about all of this. I still want to beat up her 4th grade boyfriend simply for being a previous boyfriend. but it can’t be easy, reading all of this, so yes – send Hero Cookies to Perth. she deserves them.

but this isn’t about her – she has her own blog. this about me. [wha? an asshole - this guy?]

yes, this is about me and how scary it is putting yourself, your true self, naked… in print. not a blog, blogs can be erased, but this – this is going to be in print. chapters of my life, with my name on the front of it. Josie’s going to read it, my friends are going to read it, people I hurt are going to read it. people I hurt and didn’t know I was hurting them are going to read it. my parents are going to read [a Sharpie-edited version of] it. my nephew will someday read it.

and, lemme stop you know if you’re thinking ‘but I’m sure it ends well!’; not really. it ends. I get out and don’t die [yet - a list of possibles is already being made in case I turn up missing]. but I also don’t have a massive breakthrough and end it with apologies to everyone.

it’s scary, man. and I used to think it’d be scary if it doesn’t sell, but I’m past that. it wasn’t about selling it, it was about writing it. but, 3 years later, it’s about surviving it. cause, while some folks might admire the honesty, they’re not going to want to stick around.

‘to thine own self be true’, right Bill? easy for you to say; you aren’t on Facebook.

oh man.

just go easy with the Adam’s Apple, okay? my voice might be the only thing I have going for me after this.

the Pacific Northwest has always facinated me, probably because it’s the closest thing we have to Ireland. rocky, wet and unforgiving. none of this fancy Southern Californian stuff. a coast for men, of fishing and loss. green hills. good beer. people with facial hair because it keeps them warm and not for fashion. big trees. etc.

so I hobbled back from my sunburn in Australia to join three friends. two of them once spent 6 weeks camping from Los Angeles-to-Anchorage and knew this area well. knew it well enough to move here, if that says anything.

-

our first top was the darling town of Hood River. home to 3 breweries [maybe more?] and a setting loved by anyone who stops there for a day. should you ever find yourself thinking about driving from San Francisco-to-Portland, make the detour to both Bend and this spot – well worth sacrificing 3-4 days.

it’s a small town and a nice town and I think you’d like it.

should you be a fancy beer fan, here is how the breweries ranked:

1. Full Sail – forever our ‘go-to’ choice for lager [Session]. a nice, big and clean brewery that balanced dangerously on ‘corporate’, but made for a drinkable amber, and two in-house seasonal makes. Tim also swears by the Session Black.

2. Double Mountain – they make an I.R.A. that we’ve been drinking here in Bend for a while, so no shock we had a few more in the house where it’s made.

3. Horse Feathers – great location [see above], but for some reason, they only had one waitress working the entire joint, so we ended up leaving. after spending 15 minutes online to find a website for them, I gave up. thumbs-down.

… we spent most of our drinking hours at the very hip little Passport Pub [no website either?]. highly suggested – not to mention Mac and Jack’s African Amber [my #1 all-time favorite beer ever in the entire world period].

-

Hood River. again, worth a day in the winter, worth two or more in warmer weather…

next up, Portland.

[aric has visited 43 countries - 19.1% of the world]

oh man.

you want to keep me busy for hours? give me a map, some paper and a pen.

no kiddin’.

I have done this ever since I was a kid.

a few days ago, Josie made the mistake of asking me about my ‘must see’ places and I tried hard to narrow them down. I think I did a good job, but had one of those cases just like John Cusack in High Fidelity when the newspaper reporter asks him his Top Five Favorite Songs and he ends up calling her back half-a-dozen times with changes.

which means I’m gonna put them down here.

to quiet my head.

plus, with all the dead birds, snow[!] in Oklahoma and Jersey Shore getting picked up for 4th season, the Aztecs might be right about 2012, so why waste time saving money and tenure?

okay:

- 2 months in Ireland: I’ve been a number of times, but never long enough to soak it up as it should be soaked. The Queen [formerly McQueen] family hails from Country Clare, but then again, so does every American’s family.

- Northern Africa: maybe it’s cause the first time I got to first base was the first time I got to second base with [name removed] was while watching Aladdin, but there’s just something about that whole T.E. Lawrence thing [who's unpaid bar bill I got to drunkenly stare at for a large night out in Aleppo once] and the thought of Morocco, Algeria and [for every Star Wars fan] Tunisia, just excites me to no avail.

- Eastern Europe: in a campervan. in winter. yes, yes, I know – it’s cold there. I’ve been to a cold Eastern Europe before. but to think of places like Belarus, Romania, Russia, Lithuania… in the blanket of nothingness. oh man. the photos! the eerie bars. this area just doesn’t have the same feel in the summer, trust me. I’ve seen the Bone Church in both seasons and with sunshine, it just seemed silly. [read: wintertime, I shat myself - of course, that might have to do with a few of us breaking in, but that's more of a deathbed confession.]

- speaking of cold, not since Soleil Moon Frye married have I felt as much jealousy as when I saw Brother Linus’ Antartica photos. oh man.

- Cuba. yes, American’s can get in. yes, we have to be sneaky about it. yes, it’s going to turn into Miami once Fidel dies [if that's possible] and Raul takes over. and lemme tell ya, there is no worse place than Miami. except maybe Houston.

- British Columbia: I am painfully aware of the irony of ending up with a Canadian, so you can leave them chuckles out of this spiel. Tim and Robin camped through there en route to Alaska and still say it’s one of the prettiest places they’ve ever seen - Banff in particular.

- Mexico: shame things are so shit down there. Brother Joe wrote the definitive guidebook on parts of the area and ever since picking it up, I’ve been obsessed. the food! the sights! how can you not want to see Mexico?

- Belgium/Holland: been to both of them before, but last summer in London, Josie and I got talking to a few guys who had a canal boat. think about spending 3 months on one of those lazily making your way from trappist brewery to windmill.

- Easter Island.

- New Zealand: also in a campervan. Collin and Kate are there right now in a campervan and I can tell from Collin’s lack of not being online that it must be stunning.

… now, a few of those can be reached by boat, which excites me even more. I look at used boat sites almost as much as I do maps and I’m finding out that I can buy a big steel tank of a sailboat [if you've ever sailed with me, you know the reason why I need a big steel sailboat] for around $40,000, which ain’t bad, seeing how it’s more-than-live-able. and then a campervan ain’t much either.

speaking of campervans, I’m off on Saturday – flying 11,308 miles [one way] to Perth for Josie’s 29th + 1 birthday driving around Western Australia.

sound like fun? well, lemme let you in on a few secrets:

- I’m flying on a buddy pass. which means if the flights from Bend, Salt Lake City and Los Angeles have room, then I’m welcome. if not, I’m sleeping in an airport.

- but wait! it gets more interesting! since Delta doesn’t fly to Perth, I had to book a ticket from Sydney to Brisbane. and then from Brisbane to Perth. which seems simple enough except that if, for some reason, I can’t get on said flights for 3 days, then I ain’t getting to Perth.

- there’s more! Australia right now is being hammered by Cyclone Yasi. and, sure, that might not seem like a big deal to you, but take a look at some of the news reports. we’re talking complete airport closings and mass evacuations.

… so, sure, sometimes you might see the photos and think ‘my! how exciting!’ to which I’d have to agree with you.

exciting? yes.

there’s a few more words for it as well.

more from that place where the toilets flush funny.

… are up here.

if you’ve ever wanted to drive me nuts – I mean, nuts – say something like ‘remind me to tell you something later’. I’m serious, that phrase alone, or one like it, does my head. I go crazy trying to figure out what it was, or what I’ve done wrong. same goes for me, I can’t keep my own secrets – even at Christmas, my parents have to buy presents for everyone else from me, less I end up telling them early what’s in the box.

it’s bad.

in fact, it’s so bad that I can’t even not come clean about the book I’ve started.

the other one is almost done, due early April, so please buy it – my self-validation is still dangerously in the balance.

but this one, this is one I kind of feel I was meant to write – as upmyownass as that might sound. but it’s true and I can’t keep a secret any more.

see, the birth of my nephew affected me so profoundly, I knew something special was happening. and then, this past Christmas, where I finally got to see him in real life, well, it became very, very clear to what my magnum opus was to be.

it’s called ‘dear nephew’ and, due to a certain amount of adult content, it’ll be given to him on his 18th birthday. with each place that I travel, with each fascinating person I meet, with every experience that shapes me and with each mistake I make, I’m writing it down in letter form to him. and, a quick look back on my first year of his first year on this earth will tell you I’m not with lack of content – be it for destinations or screw-ups.

and the best part is that I’m writing it to him and only him. in this last book, I wrote to an audience of friends, but this one is simply uncle-to-nephew… and I’ve never been more excited to write something. granted, I get to spend most of the chapter talking about myself, but in all honesty, ‘me’ is probably the only thing that will hold my written-attention for the next two decades.

and who knows? maybe that’s why I’m here – not just to live it, but to write it down for someone I love.

it’s somethin’ to help me cut back on the whiskey nights and chemical sunrises, that’s for sure.

I had a rather exciting year.

and, as of last Sunday, have spent this past 12 months literally around-the-world.

if this is your first time here, I feel the need to preface this with sure, from the surface, I might come across as an adventurer, which is great – no one hates being called an adventurer… and I do love a good adventure, but if you’ll take the time to read the stories and not just look at the pictures, you’ll see how surrounded I am with very generous, very kind and very tall people who let me stand on their shoulders to see The Big Show…even if that means that they’ll miss it.

and therein lies my gold.

but yeah, 2010…

sheesh.

-

• a year ago today, I was doing a little work with the [re]think:hawaii crew out in Honolulu.
• I used the money from that to head off again, stopping home in Tulsa, OK to revisit what I missed so much about it.
• from there to Philadelphia, spending Thanksgiving with some of my favorite [and funniest!] people at The Clovis Household. it was also my first time to the Eastern State Penitentiary, a now-new favorite.
• took the gorgeous train ride up to Boston where I got to spend a few short days in the presence of my favorite writer, Adam Cohn.
• and then finishing off in NYC, with too much fun. as usually happens in NYC with good people.
• another trans-Atlantic flight back to the UK for a few days and then to Berlin for Christmas. and I cannot tell you how much at least one Christmas be spent in Berlin.
• having never been to Turkey, I went to Turkey.
• tried twice to get into Syria. and highly, highly suggest it.
• ran out of money… again. and asked for help… again. and wouldn’t you know, I made enough to get me to where I wanted to go.
• which took me to Beirut – any texture-loving photographer’s dream.
• a quick stop in Israel to see an old friend. and an old friend.
• finally got to see and experience Petra. and could have stayed a week. jaw-dropping.
• and then had a second idea of how to do what I want to do.
• made it to Egypt. didn’t really like Egypt. except for one neighborhood cafe – which made up for everything else. I would wait for a week in talks with National Geographic about my idea. but in the end, it fell through. which sucked. and so…
• I packed up for Africa. but I wasn’t ready for Africa, and had to, at the age of 33, phone Mom and beg for money to fly out, as the Embassy in Ethiopia suggested I do.
• somehow, I ended up back in England. in a gorgeous three-story house on the coast. all by myself. got drunk on St. Patty’s and used the money I had earned – money that was supposed to get me back to America – to buy a boat. spent the summer trying to convince myself I could sail, and usually failing miserably. if it hadn’t been for Nick, I’d have given up.
• got myself a nephew, and he changed my life.
• lost an old friend.
• made a new one.
• met a redheaded Canuck and fell in love.
• and then lost another friend.
• got flown to Venice to photograph a wedding.
• then spent a week in Paris with a few besties – and had the experience everyone hopes for.
• was barely allowed back into England.
• and then convinced the pretty to move with me to Vietnam. things worked out fine there, jobs were had and stability was something reoccurring, but she needed a beach and I the mountains – both of us missing friends. so she left for Australia. and I for my extended-family in Oregon. give me a few drinks and I’ll say it was nice to halt a relationship on such good terms, but then give me a few more and I’ll tell you how much it blows.
• so now I sit in the middle of Oregon – between a theatre room and a chicken coop. there’s a light snow outside and some strong coffee in. I’m a few months away from being able to print a novel – one that’ll hopefully take me back to England next spring for The Big Trip on the little red boat.

-

14 countries.

32, 168 miles.

and many more highlights that I’m sure are being forgotten.

-

it was a good year, as was the last. and the one before that.

but, as stated, if you look closely, you’ll see that I had very, very little to do with it.