All posts in food

the one-oh-one: Cheeseteak from 99 Miles to Philly [#91]

HIP_329075059.650269I love a good cheesesteak.

learned how to order correctly [‘wiz wit‘] at Geno’s [not Pat’s, thank you] in Philly.

and I love Philly.

I got me some good people down there.

family, even.

and my favorite place in all of the United States to spend a day.

now, that all being said, it should also be said that this gem – 99 Miles to Philly – in the middle of Manhattan is fantastic. it’s done well, it’s run well. there was a justifiable line to get the #91.

and it was delicious. the bread, the fake cheese. the fries.

everything was amazing – if you like a good cheesesteak, visit.

it should be said that the night before I had a large evening and that next day had consisted on nothing but coffee[s] before I put this on my tummy.

I would then spend the better part of the working day in the company toilet [pretty sure everyone thinks I have a cocaine habit] and calling Josie moaning [3am her time].

I would make no friends that day.

the price one pays for ticking boxes on a list.

so go. eat. it’s delicious. there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t - just don’t be an asshole about it.

taste – 5 [stars out of 5]

cost – 3 stars

location – 3.5 stars

Josie the Healthy Girlfriend‘s approval – 0 stars

11.5 stars out of 20 = score: 57.5%

[sorry, guys]

the one-oh-one: Chicken Katsu at Tebaya [#69]



the quest for new york city’s 101 best sandwiches continues… but now, I have a [part-time] partner in crime. his name is Jon and he likes tattoos, pit-bulls and the occasional sandwich. he’s also my total work b.f.f.. and we decided to celebrate this by totally having lunch together a lot. [it’s not gay if you’re trying to check things off of a sandwich list].

but don’t let my jubilation at having a new pal fool ya…

we got torn up by the Chicken Katsu at Tebaya.

not that it wasn’t good, it was tasty. think a slightly fancier Chic-Fil-A [which, somehow ends up on the nyc list? I know – unbelievable!] [but unbelievable that they have a Chic-Fil-A in nyc. that makes me the happiest guy ever, with my new work buddy and the best fast-food ever being not too far away]. but back to the sandwich – it was good. it was very good. just look at Jon’s face below – that is a face that is eating a very good sandwich. it somehow stayed crispy despite being in a bag during our 15-minute walk back to the office. it came with extra teriyaki sauce for even more deliciousness. and it only ran us $6.50 a pop – which is sadly becoming a good deal.

we can all agree that we liked it, yes? ok. ’cause we did.

but goodness, it wasn’t kind to us afterwards. at all. it turned out to be quite mean-spirited. like the girls that work at American Apparel mean-spirited. we’re not good enough pals to use the toilet together [yet], but you can trust that we passed on another a few times on the way there/back.

so, try it. it’s good. but know that is also isn’t kind.

taste – 4.5 [stars out of 5]

cost – 3 stars

location – 3.5 stars

Josie the Healthy Girlfriend‘s approval – 1 star

12 stars out of 20 = score: 60%

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the one-oh-one: Reuben Crusher at R.U.B. [#68]



I’m afraid the next few posts will include a big more vigor than they should – but the sun’s been out in the city and you could be feeding me a $20 baguette with a grape in it [am sure it exists somewhere in Manhattan] and I’d say it’d be worth it.

add also to the fact that I had to walk a ways to find this next spot – and it turned out to be right underneath the Chelsea Hotel, the landmark I had stayed at so long ago.

[or so it seems]

so we got amazing weather.

and it’s below where Janis made Leonard late for his limo.

it’s ranking pretty high already and I’ve yet to step in the door.

The Reuben Crusher

I love a good reuben. in fact, very little says New York City to me like a good reuben. and at some point, I’ll make the journey over to Katz’s for the world’s best. in fact, now you’ve got me thinking about a reuben from Katz’s, so I’m going to look it up real quick…

[hold please]

right. okay. $15 for a sandwich over at Katz’s. that’s a lot of bread for not a lot of bread. I looked it up ’cause at R.U.B.’s, it was $11 for a sandwich. and it wasn’t a big sandwich. it was a medium-sized sandwich. it was a good medium-sized sandwich underneath the Chelsea Hotel on a gorgeous day, but it wasn’t a stellar sandwich. with a name like ‘Reuben Crusher’, you’d expect it to be girthy. especially from a hard-hittin’ BBQ joint. but it wasn’t.

HIP_327952704.300792 it was just a nice sandwich.

but nice sandwiches should not cost $11.

and the fries shouldn’t run $5.

but they did.

taste – 3.5 [stars out of 5]

cost – 2 stars

location – 4.5 stars

Josie’s approval* – 3 stars

13 stars out of 20 = score: 65%

[*points for fresh produce, a small amount of carbs and light in oil]



the one-oh-one: Tuna Melt from Eisenberg’s [#101]


and so it begins – my quest for The 101 Best Sandwiches in New York City.

I like having goals. and I like being able to justify to my health-nut of a girlfriend that I have to do this because it’s cultural and I’ve just written a book admitting to actually how un-cultural I actually am. and there are worse ways to gain weight.


first up – the last one on the list. I chose this for no other reason than it’s proximity to my office [which – crazily enough, is right around the corner from The Flat Iron Building, which is kind of cool]. there was a closer one on the list, but it’s a small sandwich for a lot of money, so I figured I could leave that until I was closer to the end and this proved to not be one of my numerous ‘themes’ that died out as quickly as they began.

#101 – The Tuna Melt at Eisenberg’s

stepping into Eisenberg’s is stepping into the New York City diner I’d always wanted to visit as a kid. one long counter with brown-cushioned stools that were probably fashionable back in 1929, which just so happens to be the year this joint opened. to the left is the large owner presiding over his small domain, greeting everyone to make sure you’re not famous – ’cause if you are, the photo goes up on the wall. this was also one of those things I think I got from Friends or Seinfeld. he can almost tell who’s coming in ’cause of the list - you’re there for the Tuna Melt and a Matzo Ball soup – it’s pretty obvious. and so, in a few short minutes, it gets back to you in some tinfoil, along with a large Dixie cup full of Jewish goodness [hrm] and there you go.


I walked my sandwich and soup back to work with me ’cause I’m busy [hrm] and tucked in. it was a good sandwich. probably the best Tuna Melt I’ve ever had. it should be said that I haven’t had a lot of good Tuna Melts. in fact, if it weren’t for the list, I would’ve never ordered a Tuna Melt. tuna + melted cheese does not sound good to me, but this one was. somehow, they kept loads of mayo out while still keeping it from being dry. you can get it on all sorts of bread as well – I don’t remember which one I ordered ’cause I was too busy looking at a photo of Philip Seymour Hoffman. the soup wasn’t anything to be bowled over by. you’d expect the Chosen People’s Broth to taste of rich history, but it didn’t. nothing wrong with it, just forgettable.

all-in-all, a fine sandwich in an amazing setting. the entire tab ran me $14.60, which was a bit steep, but it’s in the middle of NYC and I would gladly pay $10 for a good lunch anyway, so I’m out $5…  which is worth it to have stepped back to the ’30’s.



the one-oh-one – introduction


I had a mediocre sandwich just now. I live in Brooklyn, I work in the middle of Manhattan and I had a mediocre sandwich. that’s like going Belgium and ordering a Coors Light. you should know that very, very few things anger me – a lot of things annoy me, but very few things anger me… and a bad meal is one of them. I rarely eat out [correction: I rarely used to eat out] for that very reason – why would I pay money to have someone else prepare a dish that I can? sushi, Ethiopian, etc – sure. I can’t make those. but Italian? if you can’t make your own marinara sauce, you should be denied a kitchen entirely.


I had a mediocre sandwich in New York Fuckin’ City … and was shamed.

and then I found this: 101 of New York’s Best Sandwiches. with a map.

so I’m going to take on said list … at least twice a week.

and I’ll keep some notes and piccies and stuff for ya here.

’cause I can’t be eatin’ bad in the city.

let’s call it a wich-hunt.

[if my hands were full of bread and meat and goodness, I wouldn’t have been able to type that attempt at humor]



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