All posts in books

1. of many.

well, there she is.

the first draft.

12 chapters.

366 pages.

85,923 words.

367,012 times I hit one of these keys.

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‘writing is re-writing’ says my friend j-dub.

which means there’s still a long way to go.

problem is now there’s no going back.

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it was obviously not all written at one time.

some things from my diary,

some from this blog.

some while on a bus

or on a plane

some sitting right here.

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I’ve written in bad moods,

sometimes of out desperation.

there have been happy pages,

and some sad.

a few things I should have probably taken out

but kept in despite what might happen.

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it sounds like a travel book,

but it’s anything but.

a confession, a look-back

some realizations

and then some more.

I’d like to have taken those out,

but need to keep them back in.

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a book.

shabby, mis-spelled, no grammar

but a book nonetheless.

should I find myself unable to fix it,

it’s still a book.

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and that makes me pretty happy.

happy, whilst shitting myself.

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on second thought though,

I might need to change a few of the names.

oh, the things that drive us.

over the past week, I’ve written more than 20,000 words in the novel. I’ve been diligently staying off of Facebook [for the most part, of course], and have thrown myself into getting the first draft done.

I’m not a writer, but have friends who are. different things drive them – be it love, tragedy, money or for the simple fact that they like writing.

I suppose that all of those things at one point or another have driven me.

but none more than what you see here.

it started with a little patch on my chin, this was during my time in Nepal, stuck due to the Bangkok Airport riots and not being sure how I was going to get home. a family doctor would tell me that ‘it wasn’t a big deal, happens to some guys and was probably just stress related’.

but it kept spreading.

and I started freaking out.

it was called alopecia areata but I stayed away from calling it that – mainly in due part to an episode of Arrested Development where the guy has it all over and basically becomes the laughing stock of the entire episode.

I laughed a lot when I saw it myself.

this was before I got it.

it might grow back, it might not. in some places, little white hairs grow and in some places they do not.

am I scared it will spread to my head? of course I am. but then again, I like hats, so as long as I get to keep my eyebrows, I’ll be able to deal with it.

but recently, I’ve taken it as a push.

do I consider myself to be ridiculously good-looking? no. a strong 7 and that’s the truth.

do I think I’ve gotten some of the opportunities I have been blessed with because I’m on the better end of the cute stick?

yes I do.

so, the thought of not having decent looks to sell whatever it is I’m doing scared me.

shallow? self-obsessed? sure. I’ll admit to both of those.

but it made me start writing. a whole lot.

and if you see the novel picture of me in a beret, please don’t think I’m trying to be arty.

it’s just that I received a hard lesson on what is really important.

and hey, I used to draw a goatee on myself when I was 13 with a Sharpie – and I’m not adverse to trying it all again.

just please God, let me keep the eyebrows.

for no other reason.

sometimes I pick up diary and start writing – remembering that I forgot to write earlier about whatever it is I was referencing.

so, skip this if you want. skip ‘em all if you want, but that would kind of negate you being here.

anyway.

- the fires here are insane. it looks like something set up by a sfx crew from down the street. the mountains we can see from our window have been outlined with an amber that would impress even the best of j.r.r. tolkien fans. it’s scary and beautiful. kind of like patricia arquette.

- I woke up the other night with the lyrics to an onyx song in my head and had to write it down on a piece of paper and my hand as not to forget. I then downloaded and wondered why and how the hell I dreamt about them. it did lead me to revisit the soundtrack to ‘judgement night’ which was impressive for it’s time – one of the first fusion attempts. living colour + run dmc / de la soul + teenage fanclub / sonic youth + cyprus hill = goodness.

- I’m writing. a lot. about 2000 words a day in the book. which is painful – for many reasons, but mainly having to revisit the old shanghai diaries for reference and man. I wasn’t too happy about being there. and I had better hair. ah well.

- this book has kept my attention for the past few days. and I like it. and this is on the way – which excites my head a lot.

- I’m an official netflix fan. every 2 days I have a new film. and I’m loving it. a list is coming. old news, sure – but it’s been a decade since I’ve lived here.

- my bro riaad is a funny man. very funny. kid should be on the onion.

- this week’s ‘rough sundays’ was good. but I liked having people co-host more. I’m looking forward to the new show, but I’ll miss my gospel as well.

- last night I made the best tequila-cajun-lime shrimp you might have ever had. mmmmmmm. no kiddin’.

- do you think mos def and I would get along well? I’ve always thought so. his ‘black on both sides’ is on right now and I just feel it.

- I’m on a hip-hop trip. but good hip-hop. c’mon.

- I’ve still yet to use the word ‘douche’. seriously. not because I have anything against it, I just always forget.

- I’m most excited about this film coming out. mostly because I love goats.

- yesterday in the mail, I got a) posters from Adam b) 40+ moon pies from friends of Lori’s and c) ‘choke’ from the aforementioned netflix. not a bad haul.

…is that all?

I don’t know.

probably not.

[photo of me in the toilet at the tate modern in london. how creative I am!]

stuff[s]

a funny thing happens when you enter a serious relationship. well, lots of funny things, I suppose, seeing how I’ve been out-of-reality for the past decade, but there comes a certain privacy protection.

see, this isn’t just me anymore, there’s a we. an us. and sure, there’s enough content there to write about, but, as I once wrote about how I am with writing about my family, this is mine.

for me.

not that you had found yourself overly concerned, just wanted to explain the quietnessity of the past while.

but here’s what’s what:

- los angeles is los angeles. good parts and image-obsessed people who are nice. traffic and mexican music that plays a lot at the park across from where I sit. I was lucky enough to land and get working on a few projects, one of which I’m rather excited about, but can’t say a whole lot until it’s certain.

- the rough sundays shows took a nosedive with the u.k. shows, but it was important that I do them. the 3 newest ones are back to what I wanted them to be which is also great.

- I’m reading the John Peel bio I’ve wanted for a while and the memoirs of Picasso’s mistress that I picked up on the side of a Brooklyn street. I suggest, not highly, but still, both.

- listens? The Call. She Wants Revenge. a 1940′s compilation and a new fave Babs Gonzales [thanks Lone!]. and the new[ish] Yeah Yeah Yeahs is brilliant.

- Sarah came in town for her Roller Derby. it was important that we meet up. as well as understanding the intricacies of the lesbian-leaning sport.

- I refuse to apologize for liking the newest Kayne West-cameo track. even though I want to.

and I think that’s it.

oh yes. happy birthday, me.

yes.

chuck it

by far my favorite author I’ve come into contact with in the past few years – if you’re not a klosterman fan and you’re between the ages of 24-and-47, treat yourself to ‘sex, drugs and cocoa puffs’ or ‘killing yourself to live’ - which houses one of the funniest takes on cocaine I’ve ever read:

‘…there’s no question in my mind that the dangers of cocaine have been greatly exaggerated by the anti-drug lobby. oh, I’m sure it’s not good for you, but you can certainly enjoy it recreationally, assuming you have disposable income and you hate yourself. unlike pot or mushrooms, it doesn’t shift reality; it just makes reality louder, brighter and more interested in the availability of fashionable footwear. it makes you feel like you’re walking down the street – minding your own business – and the smartest, most-attractive person you’ve ever met suddenly jumps out from behind a bush and gives you a compliment’.

stuffs.

I wasn’t moaning, by the way. I’m just tired. got up this morning at 1.30am for a volcano bike ride. and it was great. but I’m still tired.

I’m sorry.

ummm, what’s what:

rough sundays 9 is up and is kind of, well, awesome. I enjoyed it. you might. the next one [hawaiian] is going to be funner.

I’m writing about Hawaii here, ’cause they’re nice and they’re paying me. even quaint little tales about boarding the wrong plane. impressive, yes. thanks.

some photos – up ’till now – of the trip so far. fatigue aside, it’s been amazing.

rihanna is today’s guilty pleasure. which is ironic seeing how she made news for pleasuring the guilty.

I wish I could connect in lax to see miss f – a few drinks with her would do us both good. [laugh + laugh + serious face]

someone walking below my balcony right now has very squeaky shoes.

it’s a few days back in bend, then a week in nyc, then england, then I’m not sure…it’s all up in the air. which is nice, I suppose. it keeps changing.

this is one of the best photos I’ve ever seen from guangxi, china.

if Hawaiian swag is your thing, then I’m your man.

I’m reading ‘the dead walk fast- stalking nosferatu and it’s not as good as chuck klosterman said it was.

give me a good night’s rest and I’ll be chock-full of exclamation marks.

pages with my prints.

don’t know if you heard , but this is the year of reading. I think. maybe it’s the year of financial insecurity. regardless, here’s a few you should put on your list.

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good books I’ve read recently

emergency! [this book will save your life] by neil strauss- why wouldn’t you need to know how to break out of handcuffs, obtain a second passport, kill your own food, start a fire, move your money out of the country and much, much more? fantastic read and you’ll end up replaying the overall theme of it.

killing yourself to live by chuck klosterman – this is my new favorite writer. I’m sure I’m not the first to say that. read this and then go ahead and order his entire catalog in bulk; you’re going to do it anyway. pop-culture essayist/profiler looks into if suicide makes a better rockstar.

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good book I’m reading

me talk pretty one day by david sedaris – this was given to me by a friend when I told her I liked chuck klosterman. I’m only a few chapters in, but it’s smart satire. and how many people can claim that?

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bad book I put down after a chapter

everything bad is good for you by steven johnson- if a book doesn’t grab me, or confuses me, then I won’t finish it out of guilt. life’s too short to force a read. good premise though, but what kind of asshole writes designates his first chapter to confusing you, only to make a point of telling you it’s for a point? no thanks.

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book I’ve been skimming though

black music by leroi jones – I bought this as there are a few essays on thelonious monk. I found out after that a lot of people think the writer is a bigot who approves of rape in certain cases? [debatable] that being said, I like his insight on the beginnings of ‘bebop’.

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…so take a note from brother Scott who, at a very early age, threw his television out and told himself that every moment he would spend watching could be spent reading, listening to music and playing his bass – he produced kylie’s opening tracks when she was in shanghai a few years back and now is receiving worldwide praise for his video game scores…so he might be onto something.

stuff. and shit. but mostly shit.

so, I got a case of the blues. again.

sure, a lot of it has to do with the below post, but there’s a few more things adding to that cyan, magenta and yellow running together in my head – but here’s the kicker: I hate admitting that.

scroll through one page on this blog and then ask me what reasons do I have to be down. I live one of the most semi-charmed lives I know so when I’m going through something, I come down on myself even harder for it which makes for a whole slew of things to deal with.

I’ll save you the details.

here’s a few other things goin’ on:

the first official ‘rough sundays’ show is done. listening to it right now. hopefully will have some cash in soon* to pay for the server and we’ll be up and running. it’s…decent. after the pilot, I found 1000 things wrong and now I can only find 862, so…small victories.

we’re in a place called LaBelle, Florida – nice campground. we fish. and read. and hang out with our neighbor, who’s kind of a big deal. in a few days, we’ll head up through Georgia, where Tim & Robin have agreed to let me run around Otis Redding’s Ranch before we head over to Tennesse for a week before heading back to our roots thar in Oklahoma.

chuck klosterman is officially a literary god. pick this up and you’ll buy the rest.

robin played this guy tonight – who’ll you’ll know from films, but maybe didn’t know how accomplished he was. I didn’t.

haven’t smoked in 6 days. might be why I’m PMS’ing.

and this might be a good idea for all.

ugh.

*one cause for the blues. my paranoia, probably**.
** it was my paranoia – sorted.

before I go.

I’m off on Tuesday morning, meaning back to The Bus, which I’m actually missing for more than just its nostalgia. It’s home these days. Just a quick few notes on things as I’m not constantly online back there…

The equipment has been delivered to The Keys and I’ll be recording the pilot episode as soon as I’m back. We’ll mess around with the website, get ‘er all ready and then hopefully launch on April 01.

Speaking of websites, more than a handful of folks who know well of my constant poor-ness suggested I use Google Ads here – I’ve always found it tacky, but have started to consider it. Thoughts? I mean, $10 a day might not be much to you, but it’d keep me nicely. I guess what I’m asking is would it cheapen your visit?

I’ll be in Austin from March 15th-18th for the SXSW Interactive happenings – let me know if anyone’s around the area and I’ll take you to Dirty’s.

My kid brother gets married on April 18th. Making me the last one…and the oldest. Wow.

The project I sat down with in Switzerland is a go – a new project for me, but I’m enjoying it nonetheless.

This is my new favorite website.

This is who I’ve been listening to a lot of. And this. And revisiting this.

I ordered this book…although I never read his other one about picking up girls.

…and I think that’s it.

got it

[This is a bit out of chronological order, apologies. Will transcribe Day's 3-4 of the Nepal Tour in a while]

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I could not run back here fast enough. Out of the penthouse room I – not 30 minutes ago – laughed in my diary about in that, ‘the more expensive the place, the more trust they seem to lend to you’ (seeing how I was living on Nepalese credit for the next few days until my payment came in), past the motorcycle that summed up the tattoo on my left arm, past the hotel employee who is simply so sweet – his zest for getting to America almost bringing me to tears – past….everything.

I ran – kid you not.

The reason being in that somewhere between the beer I didn’t pay for and Kerouac’s ‘On The Road’* it hit me. My constantly growing dread about having to recall – seeing how I didn’t keep a diary, nor did I blog (!) – the early China years of mine for the book were finally put to rest.

‘The Shanghai [Exile] Diaries’ will be coming first. It’s basically written here, and if not here in my diary. And if not in my diary it’s told in the shows. And if not the shows, then the photos. Meaning all I have to do is fill in the blanks. ‘What the fuck has taken me so long to think of this is beyond me’ I wrote in my diary, an entry that holds more CAPITAL letters and underlines (sometimes twice) that anyone who’s not a 13-year old girl should be ashamed to admit.

I’ll write it and self-publish it. Who cares if it doesn’t sell, it’ll be a helluva lot easier than ‘The Shanghai Diaries’, which was to come first. I’ll find out if I actually like doing it. Learn from it. Have something to show if/when some publisher raises more than one eyebrow at my overuse of hyphens.

I’m excited. I sat on the balcony excited. I have good photos, I have funny stories and it’s all travel-based. Never mind that I tend to go on a bit sometimes.

Chapters? Sure – you could probably name them anyway.

1. Fare-fucking-Well China

2. Thailand

3. Bali/Lombok

4. Indonesia

5. Myanmar [Burma]

6. Thailand #2

7. Cambodia

8. Laos

9. Thailand #3 and Pierre

10. India

11. Nepal

12. Back to the States

…with a preview of Mexico.

I’m serious when I say this will be done before 2010.

My previous epiphany, while good – in that, I still was passionate about writing the China Tale – lacked. It was, as my author-friend, Frank, helped ‘You need to decipher ‘mood’ from ‘style”. Well, the style I have. I think. Maybe I have an impression of another style I like and I’ll find a way to work with it. Said Beat Writer called it ‘spontaneous prose’, which, to anyone who’s followed my drivel can tell you is right up my alley. Sometimes it’s dialog, sometimes sad attempts at being poetic, some basic recollections, – a shitload of random entries.

Whew.

Okay.

*A book that, although I love, refuse to take out in public when traveling, at it makes me feel cliche. And I hate feeling like that. Perhaps that’s why I’m here.