I try not to have regrets. It’s not an easy task. God knows I have made enough regrettable decisions in my life. Mostly, though, I have caused other people pain that they didn’t deserve. It’s not something I pride myself on, this desire to plunge the knife of my anger deep within the cavity of ones emotional chest. But it has been done, many times too many.
Every now and again, I am gripped within the confines of a relentless melancholy. It is within that cocoon that I like to drink whiskey and do it alone. I can tear open my own chest and scoop out those things which I have swallowed; those which have left their scars on my insides. I pour it out, piece by piece, and lay it out in front of me. And I confront those ugly memories, those savage acts that spoke of my basest nature and I repent in my way. It’s all I can do, after all.
When I was fifteen years old, I developed an unhealthy habit of banging my head on the wall until I blacked out when I couldn’t handle a certain emotion or situation. It was dangerous and foolish and I am happy that I outgrew that sort of personal destruction.
Even though I may be 36 years old now, a bit older and wiser, or at least, no worse for the wear, I still sometimes need a place to toss the pain, the sense of loss, the secrets that have done their work with me.
These days, a bottle of whiskey, a pack of cigarettes and a soundtrack provided by Mimicking Birds will do the job, and nobody gets hurt…
Which is all I ever really wanted to begin with.
Mimicking Birds – Rivers, Veins & Roots
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Miss Tara. read why she’s a fave.
I can see why you’d choose Mimicking Birds for a melancholy mood. I went over to their MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/mimickingbirds and each song seems to roll naturally and seamlessly into the next. Definitely would go well with a few belts of Scotch.
I’ve been trying to figure out who Nate Lacy’s voice reminds me of. At first I thought of Canned Heat’s Bob Hite but that’s not really the right fit. I’m still working on that one.
Steve, if you liked these guys, check out another group of talented Portland guys: Blitzen Trapper. You’ll have a much easier time figuring out who their lead singer Eric Earley sounds like:)
And I now what you mean about Nate. Can’t quite put my finger on it, either, but I know he sounds like someone I’ve heard before. And I feel like it might be an artist from the seventies. Do let me know if you come up with anything.
Hey tee, thanks for the head’s up. I like ‘em, but I seem to like many bands from Portland. I’m a fan of both the Decemberists and the Dandy Warhols so I guess it’s something in the microbrew beers up there, hah!
One thing that struck me about Blitzen was that every song has a different style, yet they all work. In fact, Wild Mountain Nation (especially the harmony)reminded me of the early Dead but with a bit more edge on the lead guitar.
I downloaded the Mimicking Birds CD so hopefully I’ll figure out that voice match soon…
love love love mimicking birds and blitzen trapper, so glad i stopped by today! hubby will be learning their chords tonight, finding new music is like finding a new room in your heart, thanks for sharing
hml, “finding new music is like finding a new room in your heart”. i love that, it’s so true.
Tee, another lovely addition; its downloaded and part of my Saturday soundtrack. xoxo. ~A
SDs-melodic simon and garfunkle with the tender fragile like swoon of shannon hoon.