dear the 212 220 224 of you.

I’m not going to kid myself and think that you found out immediately that I ended our Facebook relationship.

in fact, you might have hidden me and my ridiculous attempts to entertain long ago.

this, however, is for the few who might have popped by,

to see I wasn’t there anymore.

597 is a lot of people.

most of them I know.

some of them I don’t.

but that’s a lot of people.

I confirmed the ‘are you sure?’ prompt for many a reason,

a few that I’ll get into in a second.

but for the most part, it was either people I didn’t like,

yet felt, for one reason or another, I had to keep them,

or people who I did like, but who never had anything to say,

or, even return an email.

there were lots of lurkers, and if you’re one of them, than shame on you.

[except my friend Shamus]

I have enough stalkers.

well, 3 that I know of.

but that’s 2 too many.

[I still consider 1 to be quite fashionable]

and yes, I spend countless hours sadly putting thought into what I post,

because I like to make my friends laugh.

but a large portion of the people I removed yesterday weren’t really my pals.

and I didn’t want ‘em around.

someone commented that I’m ‘too cool’ and that made me feel weird.

I’m 33, still borrow money from my parents and live in other people’s houses…

I’m anything but ‘cool’.

to the select few others that fall under a different category, please see below:

-

to people I went to school with, but still removed: going to school together ain’t a free pass.

to people I did one project with: I couldn’t click ‘deny’ when we were working together, could I?

to friends of an ex-girlfriend: since she and I aren’t FB friends, I thought in principle we shouldn’t be either. nothing personal.

to people who at one point listened to a show of mine: I honestly appreciate the support, but doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know you.

to friends-of-good-friends: this was hard, but I don’t know you, I know your friend. sorry.

to girls I added because they were wearing a bikini in their profile picture: I only added you because you were wearing a bikini in your profile picture.

to a select few family members: one of y’all told my Mother I use the ‘f word’ a lot.

to a lot of people from Shanghai: you ain’t getting out and I ain’t coming back.

to a lot of people in Berlin: doing a lot of cocaine together doesn’t make us close.

to someone I met, got on with and has no idea why I ended things: your significant other probably annoyed the fuck out of me.

-

I think that covers it – trust me when I say nothing bad happened, nor am I trying to ‘hide’ anything from any of you.

let’s just call it old age.

-

[side note: during yesterday's purging, the company that host this site went down for a few hours. apologies to those who sent me a 'you're even blocking me from your blog?' email. I wouldn't - and that was kind of funny.]