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When you consider both the mustache debacle and the fact that I was given a 9mm by my brother with the Greyhound bus I was to board en route to Tim & Robin in Oklahoma City, you can imagine my mindset.
I was sneaking on a gun.
I had a dyed face.
I was on a mode of transportation that suited neither.
Funny how on the previous rides, they were the freaks.
Well, as it turned out, there is no security check [you’d think a recent minor beheading might cause them to step it up just a tad] and I made it there safely. Although, I’m not sure if the Cherokee lit on moonshine has gotten off yet – but that’s neither here nor there.
We left the next morning and caved to the ‘road trip must’ of The Big Texan Steakhouse in Amarillo – home of the 72oz free piece of meat. Now, I can eat. I’m no Collin Crowell, but it’s been a good 18-pound gain since January. I was willing. I was previously willing, until the 5’10’’ Samoan hung his head and made his way off of the stage they put you on to accomplish said task – complete with a big ass red clock above you. Did they mention that you also had to consume a salad, bread roll, veggies and desert to not pay? Needless to say, I went with a steak 1/5 of that size and still had some left over for our daily breakfast burritos.
It is something you should do though – riding there in the free limo, complete with horns on the front, stopping on the way to the Cadillac Graveyard, complete with a fantastic story:
Sometime, I’m guessing the 70’s, an oil tycoon walked into a Cadillac dealership wearing his working clothes. No one helped him. He got so annoyed he walked into the manager’s office and told him that he wanted to buy all the cars on the showroom store…with cash. He had them all delivered to the side of the road on some property he owned and had them buried ass-up. This became such a landmark; they later had to move them away from the highway as they were causing traffic pileups.
This is Americano at it’s best. Route 66 personified. I love it. Somewhere out there, a giant ball of string still waits as does that insane dinosaur that PeeWee made out with Simone…and I want to see it. I learned an important lesson a while back in India about giving into my inner-tourist and it’s been so much better ever since.
New Mexico was next – and I really hope there’s some kitch. In a very non-ironic way.
Inner tourist in New Mexico? ‘The Thing? Mystery of the Desert, 200 miles’. (it’s southeast of Tucson on I-10)
If you make it to Albuquerque, you might want to try Sadie’s on 4th near the Rio Grande for some really good New Mexican food (different from Mexican or Tex-Mex) which is pretty informal or even better, El Pinto, also on 4th and north of Sadies, but more dressy as in business casual. In NM, the green chili is hotter than the red and better in my opinion. I lived there for a few years back in the ’80s.
You can take the tram up Sandia peak overlooking Albuquerque or just drive up from the back side. The view is nice and if you’re feeling very active, you can even hike it on La Luz trail. 9 miles one way and take the tram back down. Taos is a pretty cool town on a plain near some big peaks. I think Santa Fe is overrated; very touristy, very trust fundy, artsy fartsy and sorta snobby but y’all might like it; plenty of bric a brac along with super expensive stuff, lots of art galleries, etc. Everything has to be built in adobe, even McDonalds. The town consists of rich and poor (gotta have servants) but not much of a middle class. They have deliberately kept industry away and the population stable at 50K for decades to maintain the feel of the place and keep it a two class town.
From Santa Fe to Taos you can either take the larger road or you can take the high road which goes through some very interesting and very, very old towns on the way. Redford’s ‘The Milagro Beanfield War’ was filmed in Truchas which is one of the small towns you’ll pass. I’m just not sure how easy it is to take the bus down smaller and windier roads.
Chama is very nice and from there you can catch a narrow gauge railway into the mountains. There are two narrow gauge trains you can still ride in that area, the one in Chama and the more famous one that leaves out of Durango, Colorado.
If you order “chile” in Chama, you might get a liquid soup with floating green Hatch chiles that would be about the hottest thing you ever tasted. It sure ain’t Texas style! This stuff would even bring tears to the eyes of a Sichuanese.
So after that wole beheading thing… I had to take 7 busses to and from NYC and stayed awake the entire time. Its true. I also convinced the bus driver to let me jump out at times square. Which really was more interesting than it sounds.Do you like Dr.Pepper? Our friendship depends on this answer PS. Think hard.